How to Survive an Ambush After the Meeting
Your team just made an important decision. You think everyone left the meeting ready to go.
But Barney sticks his head in the door and asks, “Got a minute?”
Barney says, “I’m not sure we made the right decision.”
Establish purpose:
Take charge of the conversation.
Say, “Thanks for stopping in. So Barney, what would you like to get out of our conversation today?”
Establish purpose before engaging in conversation.
If Barney is coy, ask, “Would you like the decision to be changed?” Be direct!
At this point, the conversation goes one of three directions.
- I’m not sure.
- Yes.
- No.
Not sure:
If Barney isn’t sure that he wants the decision changed, postpone the conversation. “Let’s touch base tomorrow morning. Perhaps you’ll have greater clarity.”
He may be looking for an ally.
Don’t help people find arguments against the team’s decision after it’s been made.
Yes:
Barney may repeat, “I have some concerns.” This is a not-so-subtle attempt to change the decision. If Barney wants the decision changed, start taking notes.
- What concerns do you have?
- What reasons do you have for changing the decision?
- What alternatives do you suggest?
Barney is voicing his concerns outside the meeting because he wants you to take the heat. After listening for a bit – but not long – offer four options.
- “What would you like to do next?” (This may be enough.)
- “Would you like to email these concerns to the team?”
- “I’ll put you on the agenda of our next meeting so you can express your concerns.”
- “We’re aren’t changing the decision. Next time, will you please voice your concerns in the meeting?” Wait for an answer.
No:
If he doesn’t want the decision changed, repeat the purpose-question, “What would you like to get out of our conversation?”
How might leaders navigate being ambushed after the meeting?
I agree Dan, if Barney didn’t speak up in the meeting, put him on the spot, especially if everyone else walked away from the meeting in agreement on the decision. Don’t let Barney transfer the “monkey” from his back to yours. Also, pay attention to Barney’s behavior in case he becomes a saboteur of the decision.
Thanks Jim. Oooo… love the reference to the monkey!
Yes, look for signs that Barney is on board. If not, have a one-on-one to address the issue.
Great post, Dan.
“I hear your concerns. I’ll put you on the agenda.” works every time for me,
People don’t often walk back immediately (though some have) but they almost always find a way to get off of the agenda by the time the next meeting rolls around.
And, lo and behold! Their objections are not so insurmountable after all!
Brilliant, Stephanie. I just find that caring leaders get themselves into hot water unless they expect people to be adults. 🙂
“I’m not sure we made the right decision” sounds like code for “I have concerns that I didn’t feel safe raising in the meeting”.
Thanks Ben. Your comment opens an entirely new and important avenue. Is it safe to speak up?
I just had a conversation with my friend Alf on this: http://bit.ly/2oOSF8N
I like the strategy of asking Bernie questions to either have him clarify his expectations or to help him understand that you won’t allow a “work-around” after the decision was made and a course set.
Thanks Daryl. It’s surprising how often we find ourselves in conversations that don’t have a clear focus/purpose. Cheers
Wow! You must have had access to a meeting we had recently. Later, not sure, looking for allies.Yes, found allies, forming opposition. No, could not find anyone with enough influence to take the heat or change the decision. Should have expressed opposition while the group was all present. Decision made, time to move forward. When moving into new territory, there is always a certain amount of “wondering”. In my opinion, Barney would be happier overseeing the maintenance department. Maintenance is usually systematic with very little change. There would be little or no need to second quest himself or anyone else.
Thanks Ron… hahahah! The maintenance department!!
There is room for compassion in this. But only if it is accompanied with responsibility. People might have second thoughts. But if they do, they need to own them.
Finally, we won’t always LOVE every decision. It doesn’t matter. Get in the boat and row, once the direction has been set. If things are SO BAD that you can’t row with the team, find a new position.
Just facing this today with a person in a group. Sometimes people do not feel that they were able to be heard or voice their opinion. My Barney put his concerns in an email so that they would be written down and not change. He also had to articulate them in an unemotional way.
I acknowledged that a number of his points were valid, but there were also valid points on the other side.
I asked him for his support and commitment to making the change work. Barney said, “Yes.” Sometime our Barney just need to feel that they have been heard.
Tom
Thanks Tom. Yes! Sometimes people just need to be heard. Your approach of asking for support closes the circle. We shouldn’t be afraid to call for commitment in the face of disagreement.
I agree with your suggestion about making ones purpose clear. Another way to avoid an ambush after a meeting is creating boundaries at the beginning of the meeting and making it clear that once a decision has been made within the group, it’s final. Speak now or forever be silent.
Thanks Gerry. Great suggestion. In some organizations an ambush doesn’t happen because the “rules of engagement” are clear and observed.
I do agree with this, however, I think there are a few things that should be noted. Some personality types take a while to process information and so therefore if a meeting rushes through a decision then there wouldn’t be time for the person to raise their opinion during said meeting. Also some personality types and particularly certain cultures will struggle to feel comfortable raising their opinions in a meeting even if it is a safe space. Don’t always assume the staff member is trying to ambush you, sometimes one of these two things might be the case. I know I am often part of the first category and I have worked with many staff that are part of the second.
I’m not sure can also mean I just want to discuss and clarify until it all makes sense. So saying let’s discuss tomorrow doesn’t really help for that staff member in that situation.
Dear Dan,
Maybe it depends on the culture of the organization or national culture in which the organization is operating. In some cultures, you certainly need a Barney whose intuitive expertise may not be expressed in a meeting but represents a voice of caution. You need someone who can smell the pitfalls of groupthink. I imagine there could be examples where an ambush after the meeting averted a disaster or led to productive outcomes. I will be happy to read a blog which is the opposite of this one – HOW TO BENEFIT FROM AN AMBUSH AFTER THE MEETING
I alway make distinction between having a concern or an objection. Where an the difference is defined as an objection is reason to think this will cause harm, or it can be improved now. Concerns are fine, but they should never block a decision (as long as you regularly review your decisions to see if they still make sense).
If they raise this after the meeting, they’re too late and the strategies you describe are great to navigate them.
(btw, most of this comes from Sociocracy 3.0)
Dan — not only is your conversation worth printing out and reviewing on a regular basis — but the comments on it have been incredibly helpful and informative. Great Work fellow Leaders!!
Thank you, Dan. I will be using some of these questions in less than an hour. I suspect it’s the people coming to see me who will feel ambushed but it will change the conversation. (You know, the polite thing to do if you’re reading my email is to answer some of it for me!)
I agree with Mary Ellen. The comments, as always, add so much to the conversation.
If these practices become habits, these are great suggestions. It’s also important to maintain and encourage an open environment within a meeting that allows meaningful interaction and asks “Any more questions or concerns?” at the end that may deter these after meeting questions or comments. A good leader needs to breed a culture where a team member is not fearful of speaking afterward if they have a legitimate concern and really didn’t think of something important or believe it is important during the meeting. We’ve probably all attended a meeting where we were not provided an opportunity for input or questions and/or left the meeting wishing we had spoken during the meeting and then seek other means to address our concerns. Thanks, Dan.
Sometimes its okay to say can we sleep on it in a meeting and make a decision as I have not fully processed the implications.