How to Face Fear Like a Leader
You never defeat fear by ignoring it.
You defeat fear by moving toward and through it. When I say, “Defeat,” I don’t mean eliminate.
Fear is an ever present companion of those who have a firm grasp on reality.
How to face fear like a leader:
#1. Defeat fear by acknowledging fear:
Don’t try to bolster courage by pretending you aren’t afraid, instead explain how you’re facing fear. Successful leaders admit their fear and acknowledge the fear of others.
An uncertain path is the context of courage.
A leader who faces their own fear helps others believe they can defeat fear too. Call it the, “Maybe I can too,” approach. “If she can, maybe I can too.”
#2. Defeat fear by connecting with others:
One way to gain courage is by connecting with someone who has defeated fear.
You gain courage by listening to stories of courage. In this sense, courage is social.
You empower others when you acknowledge fear and explain how you rose up.
However, listening to stories is only a beginning.
#3. Defeat fear by taking action:
Playing it safe is easier than risking failure, but action defeats fear.
The deadly goal of fear is inaction.
Bystanders justify inaction and criticize those who are doing something.
You never gain confidence from the sidelines. Step toward your fear.
- Stand up.
- Speak up.
- Deliver what you have.
#4. Defeat fear in order to benefit the team:
Be the example of overcoming fear that fills others with courage.
Find courage by considering your impact on others.
- Purpose is other-centered, not self-centered.
- Purpose is seen in how you serve others, not how you serve yourself.
A purpose outside yourself enables you to find courage within yourself.
How might you face fear like a leader?
Bonus material:
This post is inspired by my conversation with Mike Howard. He recently retired as the Chief Security Officer of Microsoft. It was so refreshing to hear Mike talk about feeling intimidated.
- The best thing that happened to me. (0:46)
- Don’t believe your own BS. (2:25)
- I’ll tell you the truth, I was intimidated. (3:15)
- Now I’m president of this organization. I don’t want to look stupid. (4:00)
Take note that one way Mike faced fear was his motivation to be an example. I call this defeating fear with higher purpose.
I find recalling past successes is very helpful in acknowledging fear and coupling it with confidence. Our own stories can be more powerful than others at times.
Thanks John. As leaders, we might ask, “How have you overcome fear in the past?” Let’s face it. We’ve all faced fear.
Listen to a story and acknowledge it. Help people listen to their own story.
Excellent! In my experience fear does not create mistakes, unless you sit back and do nothing. Doing nothing can be wise but mostly becomes a time waster, loss creator and emotional crippling.
Thanks David. There is a place to do nothing. But over-all, it’s better to move forward.
Your comment reminds of the downside of inaction. Action is almost always better than doing nothing.
Dan,
It is great to hear leaders in such major positions as Mike Howard as they reveal their own fears. Helps us all feel “normal” that we have them also.
Your interview apparently continued beyond what you posted. I may have missed the info, but are such videos available for your readers to view?
Thanks much for your wisdom and experience. Hope you get some quiet time with family during the holidays.
Alan
Thanks Alan. I’m with you. It’s incredibly encouraging to listen to Mike talk about feeling intimidated.
Stay tuned on the entire video. I may post in on Youtube. That’s something I haven’t done much. But I have tons of great interview material that might be good to share.
wow! thank you for this post! it ignited something in me…i’ve dealt with fear my whole life and can’t seem to get delivered from it, ugh…this brought new light into it for me…thank you, i will use this when it hits and will do my best to stay focused…YAY, i await the freedom!!
Thanks Selah. I don’t know about you, but it seems to help when we simply acknowledge fear and find some small way to interact with it in a forward-facing way.
you’re so right, i’m going to try it! (saying with a slight giggle lol)!!!
“Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself” as stated by FDR at his election.
Surely overcoming our fears becomes accomplishments, no matter how small or large they are you can overcome them.
It’s important we take every success and keep them in our minds, for when fear develops we know we can get through by pulling our resources and getting past the “Fear factor”!
Thanks Tim. Yes, it’s so important that we celebrate progress along the journey. Frankly, it’s pretty darn easy and very common for people to beat themselves down instead of lifting themselves up.
What really is fear? It is in essence uncertainty. What is uncertainty but life itself. Yes you can do things to make outcomes more probable but nevertheless its all uncertain so fearful if you look at it that way. But if you are hiking with friends on a back trail (with no weapons) and run into a Grizzly bear well that is fear and all you have to remember is you need to run faster than your friends cause that is survival.
LOL… thanks Roger. You don’t have to be the fastest to survive, just faster than the slowest person. 🙂
At this point in my career, I expect fear to crop up now and again. I think a good leader respects fear and listens to it to understand it before attempting to defeat it. In my recent experience as CEO of a nonprofit, the fear springs from a desire to do what’s in the best interests of the organization, my team, our clients, the community, donors, etc. We have a lot of stakeholders who are deeply invested and one arrogant or impulsive move could alienate them. Fear allows me to slow down and consider multiple perspectives and possible repercussions as a part of the decision-making process.
Thanks Janet. I find your application of fear to protecting relationships important. There’s a healthy fear that we not unnecessarily offend those who are on the team. I don’t think it’s a paralyzing fear of wild bears. It’s more a respect for the relationship.
very wise
Fear is like leadership you get better at it with practice and time
I love what Brene Brown said about choice in the face of fear: “You can choose courage, or comfort, but not both”
Reassuring to hear about the fears of others and to realize that our most outstanding achievements have usually come as a result of moving forward despite the fears. Losing the pretence and being real with ourselves and others establishes trust I’ve found. I also Liked what Janet had to say about leadership in a non profit setting. Thanks as always for profound inspiring content Dan Rockwell. Positively, Pauline Duncan-Thrasher
Can you point me in the direction of the actual interview with Mike Howard. Sounds interesting
Dave B