7 Fears of the Joyless Leader
The fearful are not joyful. But the fruit of confidence is passion and grit.
Successful service requires a commitment to address your own fears.
7 fears of joyless leaders:
- Others will outshine you after you’ve helped them succeed.
- Others won’t serve you after you serve them.
- Others won’t honor your service. They won’t respect what it cost you to serve them.
- Others will criticize you when you’re doing your best. (Because you always intend to succeed, critics seem unappreciative.)
- Others won’t give you opportunities after you help them succeed.
- Others will focus on your weaknesses but won’t appreciate your strengths.
- Others won’t understand the pressure you feel.
Humility answers fear:
The freedom of servant-leadership is serving because it’s who you are, not simply something good to do.
True service reaches beyond reciprocity.
Serve even when you’re under-appreciated. It doesn’t matter if others appreciate you.
If you have the opportunity to serve where you’re appreciated or serve where you’re disrespected, choose the former. But in all cases, choose service.
Toward joyful leadership:
- You’re going to get it wrong. Now that you have that settled, move forward.
- You may not know everything, but you know something. The need to “know everything” drains the life out of you.
- A good question is often better than a good answer. Pop the cork on needing to know with needing to ask.
- Others have skills that you don’t have. One joy of leadership is helping people succeed in fulfilling roles.
- Some people are better off in other organizations. You usually wait too long to help someone move on.
What sucks the joy out of leadership?
How might leaders move toward more joyful leadership?
That last point is one I’ve struggled with over the past year, not only for others, but in my own decisions on when to move on from an organization that has changed dramatically into something that doesn’t fit my life mission.
Thanks Joel. Yes, this is a tough one. It’s especially tough when you’re thinking about yourself, your current responsibilities, and your hopes for your future.
I wonder if the general rule of sooner vs. later applies when we’re thinking of our own career?
There are two ways to advance yourself. You can move up in an organization or go to another organization. If I recall, those who move to other organizations generally make more money, if that’s a factor.
Fear (psychological) invariably inverts to desire (in action),
and the feared thus becomes more the reality than not (something along the lines of a self-fulfilling prophecy – albeit the opposite of expectations).
E.g. “Trumpism,” “discrimination” (sexism, racism, elitism, etc.), “logical positivism,” “good and evil,” et al.
Others may not appreciate you, and that may be ok, but others DO need to trust you, if not for direct results (answers), then at least a (relatively quick) way of getting there nonetheless (the right question[s] inspiring a shared desire in a shared potential “way”).
As someone often (and rarely complementarily) labeled “fearless,” we do need to train ourselves to learn to be afraid of not being afraid when we should be … and we thus need better answers (from others) than we can give ourselves. This perpetual curiousity is the foundation for the genuine humility, and confidence, that we are serving the right purposes, the right people, the right ways.
At the end of the day,
the only thing we have to love is love itself.
Thanks Rurbane. I find it interesting that you conclude your comment with a reference to love. The ultimate answer to fear is love. Thanks again for your insights.
What sucks the joy out of leadership?
That most of the time “servant” becomes “serf”. Being the fall guy for everybody you work for and everybody who works for you.
Thanks Mitch. Sadly, some have the idea that serving is kin to slavery. But that’s not true.
However, if a person who’s committed to serving can’t live by principles and values they will end up pushed around by the whim of others.
When you peel away the gloss and platitudes, most organisations have the principles and values of pigs in a slop bowl. A pack of feral dogs at least has a hierarchy.
Moments before a presentation on leadership…and then I read this post…nothing like last minute overhauls to my prepared remarks! Always always always love your wisdom!
Hey Brian. I’m sure your presentation rocked the house. 🙂 Your comment encourages me. It’s a joy to be on the journey with you.
So looking at what I’ve done for nearly 40 years now and how I have been received this stands out in your discussion above:
“The freedom of servant-leadership is serving because it’s who you are, not simply something good to do.
True service reaches beyond reciprocity.”
In reality just do the “right” thing in all you do, be thorough, be honest, be open and over communicate in all you do. Some may see you as over bearing, over knowing but still pursue forward and just attempt to be more humble in those circumstances. Accept that along the way those less honest will take advantage of you but always yes always take the high road, the long term road and let your work the right way stand for itself.
Thanks Roger. “Just do the right thing…” Those five words capture the essence of servant leadership. 🙂
How might leaders move toward more joyful leadership? Having people around them who care and are able to support them in tough times.
As a servant leader part of your job is to model the behaviors of caring and support. Often times, people come to the workplace without the foggiest idea of what those concepts mean or how it works. Why should I care if at the end of the day everyone gets the same “participation” trophy?
Watching for ways to celebrate true accomplishments goes a long way toward building the trust needed to help others understand the servant-leader role and how to relate to each other effectively. Most people at first can’t or won’t believe that you are doing it simply because “it is the right thing” to do. The trust is built over time.
The best advice my father gave me when I got my first managerial job was summed up in a framed print I still have- it simply states : NEVER compromise your Integrity
The humility answers fear section was a great reminder for me. A lot of times I think we get caught up in ourselves and what we need to accomplish when serving others is just the boost you needed after all.
In the humility aspect, servant-leadership is a low aspiration endeavor. We thrive to get our short-term goals in trail with the long-term goals. Having a relative formular to achieve a result but being deprive of backup from the team. It’s obvious because the freedom of servant leadership is serving because it’s who you are, not simply something good you do. It’s sums up how humble and creative you’re to build and challenge the team..