How to Improve Weakness in Others
Extroverts feel frustrated because others aren’t more outgoing. Introverts complain when they don’t get what they want – even though they haven’t asked for what they want.
Arrogant leaders are irritated with others because they feel superior to others.
Tolerance or confrontation:
Arrogant leaders confront people who don’t have their strengths and tolerate people who have their weaknesses.
Leaders who are great communicators get irritated with poor communicators. But if you suck at organizational skill, disorganization is creativity.
We tolerate our weaknesses when we see them in others and confront others through the lens of our strengths. In other words, others should be more like you. Strangely, the people you hire and get promoted bear a striking resemblance to you.
It’s arrogance that makes your strengths the standard for excellence.
Hope:
People should bring THEIR best to challenges, not yours.
Stop hoping others will become like you. The thing that irritates you about others may be the very thing you need.
You are your most important contribution. Just like they are their most important contribution.
Weakness:
Reflect on your progress when setting expectations for others.
The first meetings you led were an ineffective waste of time. But with coaching and practice, your meetings became worthwhile.
Some weaknesses become strengths.
Your first presentations were scattered and boring. But with feedback and practice, you’ve become coherent and engaging.
Another’s weakness:
When dealing with another’s weakness, assess their interest and commitment to improve.
It’s frustrating to expect improvement from people who don’t care about improving.
Do they aspire to improve in areas where you need them to improve?
Ask:
- Where do you aspire to improve?
- What makes improvement important to you?
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how important to you is improving in this area? (If they say 8, subtract 2 because they’re trying to please you.)
How might leaders overcome tendencies to judge others through the lens of their strengths?
What worked when others helped you improve your weakness?
I would rather focus on what I do well, rather than what I don’t. Focusing on weaknesses can create a lot of “cognitive dissonance” and “interior abrasion” for me. At this point in my life and my career, I’d much rather think about what I do well and apply a growth mindset to that rather than on what I don’t do well.
Thanks Brian. I would rather focus on what I do well to. But, we all have weaknesses that are holding us back. These weaknesses limit the effectiveness of our strengths. Having said that, the strength based focus makes sense. I’m not suggesting we focus on weaknesses. Thanks again.
I was in a training once where the instructor referred to strengths as “bright spots”. Because they blind us to areas where we may be struggling, or at least cast a big enough shadow over those areas that we may ignore them.
Thanks Jennifer. That idea is a powerful reminder. Love the connection your instructor made.
Hi Brian,
I agree that we get the most return on our investment of effort by leading with our strengths, but I would do better if I at least understood my weaknesses so they don’t get in the way. Others would more likely collaborate with me if I don’t annoy them too much.
One way I found to reduce my judging others is remembering my own development and mentors who were patient enough to tolerate my inexperience and lack of judgment. They provided positive reinforcement even though they were correcting my deficiencies. I have been taught that there is more than one way to approach a project or issue and mine wasn’t always the most effective.
Thanks Daryl. We owe so much to people who have helped us grow. I think of those who helped me change because of their example and then there are some who helped me grow through teaching, or even a kick in the pants.
How might leaders overcome tendencies to judge others through the lens of their strengths?
Remembering someone helped us make our strengths better or the best.
What worked when others helped you improve your weakness? Accepting their views to get on board with them. Understanding how they became who they are and realizing that may be wear we want to go, or totally go our own way.
Thanks Tim. I’m with you. Learning to accept people has done two important things in my world. One, others have more energy. Two, my life gets bigger!
How might leaders overcome tendencies to judge others through the lens of their strengths?
You can help someone change “bad behavior” but you can’t change their personality. We must understand that it is in our DNA as humans to compete. I have tendencies to judge others through the lens of my strengths, BUT I AM AWARE OF IT so i am intentional about making sure i don’t allow my mind to go there. When you ask the question: “How might leaders overcome?” it assumes that one day we’ll be “perfect”. Even the most known leaders around the world will admit to this struggle.
All that to say, never stop being honest with yourself and don’t let yourself get to your own head. It’s difficult to see your own progress when you’re in it so what can you do about it? Ask for feedback and keep working on it 🙂 People dig transparent Leaders.
How might leaders overcome tendencies to judge others through the lens of their strengths? Having the information you shared above thus creating one’s self awareness could help tremendously.
Thanks Dan, helpful views and reactions. To see my own blind(ed) spots.
“You can teach what you know, but you replicate who you are” … In other words, if i teach strength from a knowledge perspective but show weakness in my actions … YOU FILL IN THE BLANK.
Good Post 🙂
How might leaders overcome tendencies to judge others through the lens of their strengths?
I believe that we( leaders) can overcome the tendencies to judge others by knowing that our learning is not done and trying to find what we can learn from them to help not only help improve ourselves but them as well. everyone has strength and weakness its how we use them in our work environment.
Thanks Nicole. It seems that we judge less when we believe we have room for personal growth.