How to Overcome the Frustrations of Collaboration
It seems faster to make decisions on your own, especially when others don’t think like you.
It’s simpler to give direction and expect obedience, than to endure the messy work of collaboration. The truth is, the fastest way to get simple work done is clear direction and obedient compliance. But…
You’re on your own when people feel excluded and disrespected.
4 dangers of mindless compliance:
- Distrust. If you enjoy explaining every step forward, expect mindless compliance.
- Distance and isolation. If you enjoy feeling alone, make decisions in isolation.
- Sabotage. If you enjoy interruption and disruption, exclude people.
- Lethargy. If you enjoy half-hearted efforts from your team, hoard information. Keep them in the dark.
Engagement and collaboration:
Engagement is a choice. You can’t coerce it. Collaboration requires feeling respected and safe. You can’t demand it.
Rise above reluctant conformity and half-hearted compliance by including others early and often.
12 ways to create collaborative interactions:
- Keep teams small. Anyone who consistent leaves the meeting without something to do shouldn’t be in the meeting.
- Maintain personal openness. Avoid defensiveness.
- Explain who will make the ultimate decision.
- Don’t ask, “What should we do?”
- Don’t ask, “What do you think?”
- Define success. “This is what success looks like for this project. What, if anything, am I missing?”
- Explore options. “What options come to mind when you think of successfully completing this project?” (When someone evaluates an option, thank them and explain, we’ll evaluate options later.)
- Evaluate pros and cons. Don’t ask people if they agree. “What are the pros and cons of option A?” Expect everyone to see both sides of an option.
- “What challenges might we encounter if we choose option A?”
- “What advantages do you see to choosing option B?”
- Maintain gratefulness and respect.
- Include others early and often, even if they disagree, they will pull with you.
How might leaders create collaborative interactions?
Added resource: Eight Ways to Build Collaborative Teams, HBR
How might leaders create collaborative interactions? Depending on the circumstances clarity can be crucial, any mis-interpretation is a recipe for disaster! What’s the first thing that comes up when somethings wrong? You didn’t tell me!
There are learning processes with everything we do, so seeking the senior employee on the project is were we start and entrust to perform the project, from them it funnels down to their support staff.
The individuals we select are chosen with the intent of understanding what needs done? How to do it? When we need it done? Have they done this type of project before? Do they see a challenge? If not lets get this done! If there is a challenge let’s sit down and collaborate!
Thanks Tim. Get clear on the objective. … “Do they see a challenge?” In other words, don’t collaborate on everything. I’ve recently read about collaboration fatigue. Let people know you care. If the senior people see the path forward, then get out of the way.
Dan, great read for me this morning, especially as our department seeks to improve our relationship with another department. I especially appreciated, “expect everyone to see both sides of an option” – what a great way to get everyone on one team!
Thanks Stephanie. Best wishes as you move forward.
Dan,
Thank you for your teaching us.
Would you say more about numbers four and five, and why those questions are not good? Gratefully, Mary Y
Good word. I find myself asking “What do you think?” a lot in collaborative meetings. I have never thought of that as being ineffective. What is a more appropriate way of eliciting responses?
Thanks Mary. The two quesions… “What should we do?” and, “What do you think?” aren’t evil but they are inadequate.
What should we do is too narrow and puts people in a yes/no mindset. You listen to judge. It’s better to use plural language. What are some option(S)? There will come a time, if it’s a consensus decision that you would ask, “What should we do?” OR, “Which option seems best? Why?
“What do you think?” is too broad. What do you think about xyz? is better. Give focus to the question or the conversation may go sideways. Leaders complain that collaboration takes too long. Asking focused questions helps. If you’re generating a list of options, clarify the goal and ask for a list of potential next steps. When you’ve chosen a path forward, you might ask, “What potential obstacles should we anticipate/prepare for?
That is exactly what I needed, Dan. Thank you. You have offered both the answers and the example of caring leadership. You stay up late or you get up early to answer your readers’ questions.
I was a little late to the party yesterday!
I think the danger of not asking “what do you think/what should we do?” is that you assume that silence equals agreement.
Having sat in a number of follow-up meetings where the person who didn’t ask “what should we do?” had it pointed out that he had never asked whether something was actually possible, never mind a good idea!
Thanks Mitch. If it’s collaboration you want, then silence is unacceptable. You want to know what people think about a specific thing. The “what do you think” question is too broad. Try, “What are some options for moving forward?”
What should we do has too many assumptions. It needs to be clarified and narrowed. What should we do about WHAT.
Your second paragraph is important. Too often, there’s no discussion about the original goal. Why are we doing this? What can we do?
What are WE missing?
What are WE thinking?
What are WE doing?
That would be Socratic collaboration …
Thanks Rurbane. I notice the big WE. Language matters.
What are WE achieving?
What are WE thinking?
What are WE doing?
That would be Socratic trust …
There is a time for direction–simply tell people what to do, how to do it and when to have it done by. Giving clear, precise directions is a good thing when needed. Sometimes there isn’t time for collaboration–a decision must be made quickly.
And there are times when discussion and collaboration are certainly needed.
The best managers and leaders know when to do each.
But one approach isn’t better than the other.
Thanks Paul. Don’t call a meeting to discuss options when the house is on fire. The situation determines the best approach. Another factor that determines the approach is the people around the table. If the team is inexperienced more direction seems appropriate.
How might leaders create collaborative interactions? Encouraging people who think differently to be part of the conversation without shutting them down.
Thanks Gerry. How we respond to constructive dissent is a huge factor in collaboration. Let’s face it, people either clam up or blow up when they feel shut down.
“Collaboration requires feeling respected and safe. You can’t demand it.” really resonated with me today. I feel this personally… if I don’t feel respected or safe, then I’m not going to collaborate honestly.
I believe that challenging myself to consistently honour my values of respect and honesty will help the people I collaborate with want to collaborate with me.
Engagement is key from a leader’s perspective. It’s like the fuel that helps employees keep going after their basic needs are met. You shouldn’t be in the dark nor isolate yourself from your team and establish a connection in order to communicate efficiently with them. I think you have to meet them half-way of their expectations of you as a leader if you want the results needed.
I have a tendency to hold unto things until I figure out all the answers. I have found there is much more benefit of involving others early in the process and letting them find the answers and most often they have many more questions that need to be answered as well. Collaborate early for best results and its okay that I don’t have all the answers.
Great post, Dan. I see the 12 recommendations as a series of micro transactions in which the total impact is greater than the sum. I am about to embark of a team project that should take the larger part of a year, and I can assure you that I’ll be using some of these recommendations. I find myself breaking many of these recommendations on a regular basis, so adjustment will take effort.