7 Faces of Distrust
A reader asks, “Maybe a post on how to proceed when relationships have been eroded among team members? With a small team, I find it especially challenging.”
Trust is the engine of team performance.
7 faces of distrust:
#1. Tearing down the people you should build up.
#2. Wishing failure on people instead of celebrating their success.
#3. Viewing team members as enemies instead of allies.
#4. Self-protection and defensiveness.
#5. Surprises during performance reviews.
#6. Planning-meetings that exclude input from the people who are impacted by the plans.
#7. Constant rule-making. Distrustful teams use rules to protect themselves from each other.
Bonus: Hidden agendas.
10 traits of trustful teammates:
#1. Know, honor, and celebrate the top three strengths of everyone on the team.
#2. Talk openly about weaknesses. (A person who has no weakness is self-deceived and untrustworthy. They will blame you to protect their image.)
#3. Enjoy playful mischief. One organization gives the “Duck Butt” award. This year it went to a person who hit the overhang of a drive-through with a company vehicle.
#4. Ask forgiveness. “I was wrong,” builds trust.
#5. Express sincere enthusiasm for another’s success.
#6. Speak about others as if they are in the room, when they aren’t.
#7. Assume others have good intentions. Trust gives the benefit of the doubt.
#8. Protect each other’s best interests. Self-protection weakens relationships.
#9. Examine personal responsibilities before finger-pointing.
#10. Open their mouths to build-up.
3 ways to rebuild eroded trust:
#1. Define trust.
It’s impossible to build trust if you haven’t defined it in theoretical, practical, and emotional terms.
#2. Describe trustworthy behaviors.
You need to know the actions that express trust and the unacceptable behaviors that violate trust.
#3. Extend trust before it’s earned.
Distrust is earned. Trust is given.
We are all trust-givers.
Trust is given every time you drive on the freeway or walk down an airbridge to your seat on a plane.
What are some faces of distrust that you have seen?
How might teams build/rebuild trust?
Bonus material:
The Speed of Trust (Covey)
Ten Ways to Build Trust on Your Team (Forbes)
Why trust is critical to team success (CCL)
Building Trust Inside Your Team (Mindtools)
Dan, it is amazing how you can write such valuable, insightful posts day after day for years on end. This one is extremely powerful. Have a wonderful day!
What are some faces of distrust that you have seen?
The answers to the question keep changing, either you/we did or didn’t.
We didn’t hear that! What were you listening to? Sometimes “asking the Doers” to paraphrase what was said to confirm the mission.
They said the job is done, client takes picture and shows it’s not done.
Did we all not understand the project?
How might teams build/rebuild trust?
Delivering on ones promises, don’t promise something your not prepared to deliver.
Be a straight speaker, don’t talk in circles.
Deliver the message “without the sugar coating”.
Acknowledging the project is difficult, yet knowing we are capable to deliver.
Show we believe in them.
Excluding people who are impacted by the change from the planning is a huge blunder I see repeated over and over. The rational that there wasn’t time never repairs the damage done and the problems created from lack of buy-in down the chain which will steal back any time you thought you were saving. Involving people always results in better decisions, more accountability and higher engagement.
Thanks so much, Dan! I feel really grateful that you responded to my question. Being a middle manager is the biggest challenge I have faced due to having so little control over the larger work culture that impacts my small team. That said, what I take away from this post (and some of the articles you linked) is that the repair has to start with me. This will help me frame discussions at our year-end retreat next week and throughout the year.
What are some faces of distrust that you have seen?
In regulatory industries, the default position is that absolutely nothing is taken on trust – everything has to be verifiable from hard data, and even decisions based on that data have to be justified to head off accusations of bias, selectivity or frank dishonesty.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the mindset spreads from the data a decisions into personal relationships…
“Distrust is earned trust is given” Very true, I had not thought of it that way before.
Great advice. As is often the case, this are all things we know, yet need to be reminded. It’s so easy to get pulled off the track of doing what is right and what will build trust into the cycle of suspicion. So what is the best way to bring this up with colleagues with whom we have a trust gap?
Faces of distrust; hoarding information, either to protect ourselves or to disable others, finishing a request with “I don’t expect this to go through”. Gossiping. Going through the motions and playing out the clock.
As always, RELATIONSHIPS MATTER and TRUST is a key to building those relationships in our schools, organizations, families. Again, thanx for your leadership! You are appreciated.
I’d love to share today’s blog in our Learning Forward Kansas newsletter this month. Is that possible?
Defensiveness! That’s a dead give away I think. I’ve been in small teams through my career and An experience has been working in a caustic environment! It showed all stages of denial and distrust, which on hindsight should’ve been the first things to notice. I suppose we live and learn to make better mistakes as we grow 😊