How to Respond to Stupid Suggestions
Leaders won’t seek input if they don’t know how to gracefully reject irrelevant or stupid suggestions.
Don’t insult people when they offer ideas, or they’ll take their ideas to competitors.
5 types of “stupid” suggestions:
- Suggestions based on inadequate information.
- Ideas that might be relevant at a future time.
- Input that reflects a personal agenda.
- Recommendations that arrive too late to help.
- Contributions that are difficult or costly to implement.
The etiquette of suggestions:
Good manners and wisdom prevent you from saying, “That’s stupid.”
#1. Suggestions impose social obligations. You need to consider and respond.
#2. People believe their stupid suggestions are smart.
We believe our suggestions are helpful. That’s why we offered them.
#3. It stings when suggestions are dismissed without consideration or respect.
Smart people don’t enjoy feeling stupid.
A brilliant response to a stupid suggestion:
I recently sent a suggestion via text to a corporate leader. Maybe it wasn’t stupid, but it didn’t apply. His response was a lesson on responding to “stupid” suggestions.
“Thanks Dan. I like this idea. I believe this would work best after this upcoming offsite. We are essentially rebooting … .” (The text message continues with an explanation of their current focus.)
- Appreciation.
- Personal address, “Dan.”
- Approval of the idea. “I like this idea.”
- Respectful rejection. “I believe this would work best after this upcoming offsite.”
- Clarification of the current focus.
Good suggestions are withheld from leaders who make people feel stupid.
4 tips:
- Don’t say, “This is a good idea, BUT ….”
- Don’t say, “That’s not our current focus.” Instead, explain your current focus.
- Say, “Your suggestion might work when…”
- Say, “That’s an interesting suggestion. Right now, we’re focused on ….”
Build a culture where:
- Best ideas win, regardless of their source.
- Multiple ideas are explored.
- You avoid yes or no choices based on one option.
What are the worst ways to respond to stupid suggestions?
What are the best ways to respond to stupid suggestions?
Bonus material:
The Bacon Solution: How to (Nicely) Handle a Bad Idea (Forbes)
5 Ways to Politely Decline Unsolicited Advice (Inc)
What are the worst ways to respond to stupid suggestions?
Are you and Idiot? Don’t talk down to them. Perhaps watch your eyes and facial features often read like a book. Reactions can speak loudly!
What are the best ways to respond to stupid suggestions? I see were your coming from, but the XYZ will not work with ABC. If we use ABC this way it will work, so share your insights and mentor.
Thanks Tim. Body language and facial expressions are powerful. You made me think about smiling when I receive input, but not too big. (I think big smiles might be interpreted as frivolity.)
Thank you for providing some of the most comprehensive ways to turn down advice. It’s so important that we don’t disparage ideas. We kill future ideas by dismissing the present ones. Telling someone that you like the idea, but we can’t implement it at this time for certain reasons is a gentle enough let down. And it may inspire someone to have a good idea in the future that is tweaked from that once bad idea.
Thanks Hamilton. I’ve followed up with the leader I quote in this post. I complimented him on his skill in saying no. He said that he’s worked at it. That made me feel good. It wasn’t simply something he did naturally. That means there’s hope for the rest of us,
I know one great manager that says “That’s interesting. . . tell me more” or “tell me what that would look like” with a tone of genuine curiousity. Usually, in the additional telling, we realize when we don’t have a clear idea or the stupidity becomes obvious to us . . . and sometimes, what seemed like a stupid suggestion turns out to be secretly brilliant — but it wouldn’t be found if he dismissed it from the start.
Thanks DJ. Three words can change everything, “Tell me more.”
I have sometimes replied, “That’s an interesting idea; tell me more about it.” As they respond, follow up with, “Have you considered ____?” It’s quite possible to lead a would be contributor to their own conclusion that their idea is not as good as they originally thought. It takes a bit of time, but it works, and your colleague learns through the process. Always conclude, “I really appreciate your thinking about these things!” Who knows? Their next idea might be a great one!
Thanks Ken. Great minds think alike. Read the comment above yours.
Curiosity is a powerful tool. It slows us down and opens our mind. It also says, “I’m taking you seriously.”
What are the best ways to respond to stupid suggestions? “Hey Jose, that’s an interesting suggestion or idea, let me think about that and we can discuss later” Later you bring Jose in and go into depth, why do you say that, where did you get that thought etc. etc. From that one can possibly direct Jose better to a reflective way and not lose him.
Thanks Roger. Actually following up is what makes your suggestion work. 🙂
How would you respond when your manager drums her fingers on the table while you are (respectfully) expressing a concern about an idea.
Thank you Dan, love this post. Suggestions are often an act of courage and goodwill. When I’ve to turn down a suggestion, I’m always careful to make a distinction between the suggestion and the person who is making it. I found it more honest and effective to encourage the person for their attitude on one side and to turn down the suggestion “together” as teamwork, explaining my reasoning. I’m always afraid that the person would take it personally and felt shut down along with the suggestion.
I agree with Tim Glass on his comment about reactions. Gotta watch those. They can betray what we are thinking no matter what our words are saying.
Great article. Subscribing!
Dear Dan,
‘Keeping Silent’ or ‘No Response to Your New Idea/Suggestion’ can be a smart way to ignore but is certainly demoralising! At times, I did stop giving suggestions to CEO at 2 organizations. They want a hierarchy level communication flow. The height of unprofessionalism and the status conscious mind-set
!
What are the worst ways to respond to stupid ideas.
Hi Godwin, I think we should outline this principle, it might put us ahead of our competitors. Godwin: I’ll look into it and get back to you..
It will be discouraging and might be frustrating if I fail or forget to give my feedback as promised. Ideas no matter how stupid or irrelevant when lightened up encourages and motivate one to be more creative and realistic and believe in one true self about the future. Try saying, ‘you got a point and your statistics are good, view this angle and apply this formula.’
Engagement and feedback builds relationship that maximises creativity especially in introverts.
This is a subject I have some trouble with, and it doesn’t necessarily have to do with “stupid,” suggestions, but just suggestions in general that might not fit with what is needed at the time. It may sound strange, but my go-to is to be “extra” nice, with responses like “that’s a great idea! But…” or “I never considered that, how interesting, maybe …” You are right that responding to suggestions by making people feel stupid will ultimately lead to them never offering a suggestion again. What I like best about the brilliant response to the suggestion example is there is no use of the word “but.” I read once that replacing “but” with “and” can substantially impact how someone perceives your response. “But” automatically implies there is something wrong with the suggestion, or it will never work, ever. “And,” on the other hand, retains the sense of hope and optimism, and I think it makes the suggestion land on the same level as the alternative option that is then offered after.
The worst ways to respond to a stupid suggestion is in the name- calling it stupid. Belittling someone’s ideas, no matter how outrageous they are (unless they are truly offensive) hardly ever makes a positive impact. Alternatively, leading someone on that their “stupid” idea will actually get implemented, only to never follow through with it, can be equally harmful. Realistic expectations are a must, and cordially goes a long way.
These polite responses dont work, and take time and energy away from more important things. Instead of placating and coddling people I have started to either 1) Say “No.” – one word response no explanation or 2) just ignore pretend you didnt see it or hear it. If they dont respect #1 and ask why, move to #2. If they dont respect boundaries in #3 you can get more stern (but definitely not polite, polite rejection never works unfortunately it sends mixed messages) Or continue to ignore and keep secret note about this persons lack of boundaries. If they offer more (unsolicited) stupid suggestions, you can implement consequences from your end.