The Anatomy of Encouragement for Leaders
Everyone needs encouragement.
Encouragement feels like someone sat beside you and grabbed an oar.
#1. Encouragement thrives with connection.
Encouragement from a distance is better than no encouragement. But the most powerful encouragement comes from people you know. If you hope to fuel people’s energy, connect.
Caution: encouragement from a distance may seem disingenuous.
#2. Encouragement remembers and respects performance.
Yesterday I received this email from Glen, “I was reading the WSJ the other day, and my heart jumped a bit when I saw the Ask Dan column. I quickly realized it was Dan Ariely … But for whatever reason, my initial microsecond reaction was because I thought it was YOU. The more I thought about it, I thought a column by you would be a great fit.”
Glen’s email says I believe in you.
Last Friday I received this email from Abe, “I notice how much better I am at dealing with people as a result of your coaching. It (my current mojo) feels natural enough that I don’t need to think hard about what to do, but new enough that I keep noticing that it’s different from what I used to do.
And when I think of these things, I remember my coach, my friend Dan. So, in case you’ve forgotten, you’re amazing!”
Abe’s email says I’m making a difference and we’re friends.
Seven months ago, I received this email from Bill, “Hadn’t talked in a while but wanted to thank you for the continued contribution you make to our team and to me personally. I hear your “voice” in our day-to-day interactions and it’s awesome, and powerful, and kind. I read your blog and it is like I get a daily phone call from you.”
Bill’s email says I’m kind.
What encourages you?
What’s the difference between challenge and encouragement?
Bonus material:
Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness (Book)
Encouragement improves your game better than criticism, claim scientists (Telegraph)
How to be an encouraging leader (leadchange)
What encourages you? Knowing the people we are working for are going to have a successful project. Getting to know what they need and how we can get them to the end results become the most gratifying aspects.
What’s the difference between challenge and encouragement? I find the challenges come from new opportunities we have never dealt with before. So we learn what is needed, developing a plan to execute, and become qualified in their application for the process.
The encouragement sides comes from those who have been there before and share their guidance, the downside is no one has been in that particular situation that has that realm of expertise, at which point we need to search out those who have been in those shoes and “connect with them” as you so portrayed Dan!
Thanks Tim. Your comment gives me things to think about for the comparison between challenge and encouragement. Today’s post started off as a comparison, but I ran out of room.
I think encouragement remembers and challenge anticipates.
It is encouraging when people know my weaknesses, but encourage me that my strengths outweigh them. When a supervisor wants to spend more time with me by asking me to lunch or when someone asks my opinion on a topic outside of my scope of work.
Thanks for your on-going contributions to the conversation. I see authenticity in your comment and respect you for it.
Leaders would be served well if they appreciated the power of their presence and the value of spending time with people.
What encourages you?
It’s knowing that I’m getting a result and getting the scores from another. Nothing encourages more than when I get a work dinner and dusted with my team or colleague, it wispers to me that I’m making a difference.
What’s the difference between challenge and encouragement?
Challenges are what makes life interesting and worth riding while encouragement is what motivates one to strive and continue aiming forward. One can not live without challenges but can live without encouragement which is the main factor needed to solve the end point.
Anything worth doing well takes perseverance and dedication to accept challenges and lighten them up as encouragements.
Thanks Godwin. BTW, I appreciate your tweets.
Encouragement lightens the weight of challenge. Powerful idea. On it’s own, challenge can feel heavy. Encouragement makes the same load feel lighter. The weight doesn’t change, we do.
What encourages you? There is something within me that says you can do this, you can master this, you can push forward regardless if you fail. My upbringing, my family behind me and my work experiences encourage me on lifes’ challenges
What’s the difference between challenge and encouragement? Challenge is a task I undertake regardless of how small or large that task is. Encourage is the that underlying basis of who I am of what makes me, of what gives me passion. It can be experiences, it can be people, it can be words.
Thanks Roger. Wow! I hadn’t even considered self-encouragement. You remind me that the stories we tell ourselves about our past (family and upbringing) have a powerful impact on our lives today.
What encourages me? It’s easy to say money, but I think if we can get by with as little effort as possible for the most amount of money returned then that is what we’d do. Therefore, the encouragement factor must come from somewhere else, and for me it lies in simple recognition. I often find that it works with coworkers and new employees too. It’s an easy tool to employ when you take the time think about it. A challenge, on the other hand, comes as an entirely different concept. Challenging someone is setting expectations and/or creating goals for that individual to achieve, but he will only be effectively encouraged to accomplish those goals if he feels there will be some valuable recognition on the other side of it.
As a teacher for many years my favorite encouragement came from a principal who took time to write small notes on my report card copies to let me know that he appreciated the thought that I had put into each. His encouragement was personalized and tailored to my style of reporting. Encouragement needs to meet the style and needs of the recipient. Loud and public encouragement is needed by some people but others prefer the quiet one to one messages saying “I appreciate you specifically for what you are accomplishing, again specifically. Challenges either self imposed or from others recognize our opportunities and abilities to stretch and reach beyond current accomplishments. They are large enough to keep us moving forward but not so large as to discourage. Vision and positivity work!
Positively, Pauline