How to Become a Wise Sage
A wise sage has failed enough to be humble and succeeded enough to inspire confidence.
The birth of a wise sage:
You become a wise sage in the dark. There is no sagacity in easy wins. Success is a platform that’s built on courage, struggle, failure, and success. You move toward sagaciousness when you:
- Stand for principle when tempted to compromise.
- Confront arrogance and practice humility.
- Try, fail, own it, and learn. Finger-pointers never learn and grow.
A wise sage courageously exposes struggle, but fools hide the struggle and snarl like lapdogs.
Explain the pain of failure with personal language. Avoid generalities. Painful struggle makes you inviting and trustworthy.
Pain teaches empathy and openness – if you have the humility and courage to listen.
You cannot close your heart and be a wise sage.
A wise sage looks for growth in others not sympathy for herself. The reason to explain the lessons from pain include:
- Connection.
- Humility.
- Honesty.
- Encouragement.
You’re an encouragement to others when they realize you found success on the other side of failure. Maybe they can too.
There’s more to becoming a wise sage than moving through darkness to light, but this is a beginning.
What have you learned in the dark?
How might a leader become a wise sage?
What have you learned in the dark? Don’t make the same mistake twice, shows we weren’t paying attention.
How might a leader become a wise sage? Listening when being spoken to by others, showing that we “respect” them, develops connection. Asking questions enhances our understanding of the discussion and provides a clear path.
Listen more, speak less.
Thanks Tim. What I get from your comment is you become a sage by not knowing.
Sadly, I’ve made too many mistakes twice.
Dan, Thank You very much for all the tweets and helpful information. What I have learned is ‘GUTS’ Gaining Understanding Through Suffering – it might be the best learning tool. Not much is learned in comfort, but suffering is such a great process and is greatly needed in the maturing of children.
It takes an age to make a sage
The wise no longer doubt it.
For the more they grow they more they know
And the less they talk about it.
Love it! Thanks Duane.
Not trying to be a wise guy, but isn’t a wise sage redundant? Humility is key as you state. The wise learn from anyone. If I humble myself I can learn something from anyone and any situation, and likely learn more from failure. Thanks, Dan.
Thanks Pete. I think they might be the same. I was thinking about wisdom with age so I used sage to indicate age. But, it might not be the proper use.
Humility kept coming to mind as I wrote this one. Pretty hard to separate humility from the development of wisdom.
Excellent post, Dan. I’ve found that wise sages have learned from mistakes and knew that it’s okay to share those mistakes so that others won’t repeat them. Not with false modesty, but with a sincere desire to be a mentor and guide.
Thanks Daryl. The way we talk about failure is important. Don’t look for sympathy. Speak with optimism. Be forward-facing.
Thanks for sharing. Very relevant for me having lost in the local election in Ireland. I was beginning to think that I wasted my time in all the years of fighting for the immigrant community whose behavior at the polls suggested they are not bothered and ungrateful. I needed the mandate to push for better reforms for the benefit of same people. Even then, though they didn’t come out to vote, they are still coming to ask for help one day after the election.
Thanks okezie…. One of the challenges of leadership is feeling under-appreciated. Fighting through that feeling enlarges us as people and expands our influence. But it’s not easy.
I think, for me, that feeling like I wasted my time is an opportunity to clarify why I tried in the first place. Was I doing it because it’s something inside me, or were there external motivations.
The feeling of rejection also comes to mind. Failing is tough, especially when we just want to be helpful.
You have my best for the future.
A wise sage has learned to tell brief, often humorous, stories to help others learn and grow.
Brad
Thanks Brad. The idea of humor, without being frivolous about failure, is so inviting. I’m drawn to happy leaders.
A sage seeks constantly to learn more, but senses when to act through accumulation of knowledge and experience (failure and success). Your first sentence cut to the heart of the matter. I feared that American culture does not value sages as highly as needed.
Thanks Michael. Your comment reminds me that it’s not enough to “KNOW.” We must also “DO.” Being a sage is more than knowledge. There is something very practical about wisdom.
I’m not sure about finding “success on the other side of failure”. Sometimes those either/or comparisons seem off to me. If you are not a “success” (which may mean different things to different people) then you are a “failure” (may also mean different things). I think that wisdom comes in finding meaning in the struggles / darkness, even when success may not seem to be imminent.
Success on the other side of failure – couldn’t agree more. To become wise you need to have travelled further.
Admitting mistakes and being vulnerable certainly teach a lot of lessons. Some of my greatest failures have also exposed strengths for the future. We only repair parts of the dam that are weak, after all.
What have I learned in the dark? To appreciate myself because I’m the only one that feels my feelings and I’m the only one that can put myself back together.