How to Resolve the Negative Realities of Positive Thinking
“The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.” George Will
Optimism is dangerous when it causes you to:
- Lose motivation. When you only imagine a bright future, you’ve attained your goal in your mind. The result is lost motivation. Positive fantasies about the future causes people to relax too much. (The Atlantic)
- Overlook potential problems. (Selective inattention.)
- Underestimate the effort required to attain goals.
- Believe you control things that are outside your control.
How to resolve the negative realities of positive thinking:
#1. Believe you can make things better, not perfect.
Making a big difference begins with believing you can make a small difference.
#2. Practice defensive pessimism.
Along with imagining success, imagine what might go wrong. “Defensive pessimists, for example, tend to fret a great deal about upcoming stressors such as job interviews or major exams, and they overestimate their likelihood of failure. Yet this worrying works for these individuals, because it allows them to be better prepared.” (Scientific American)
#3. Prioritize action.
Any dream you can’t act on today is a silly fantasy. Imagined success is fuzzy. What one small thing must you accomplish today in order to achieve your dream?
Maintain confidence that your attitudes and actions impact outcomes.
#4. Engage in critical self-reflection.
At the end of the day ask:
- What did I accomplish?
- How could I have done better?
- Where am I blaming instead of taking responsibility?
- What am I learning from failure? Success?
#5. Include others.
Explore next steps with people who actually get things done. Don’t ask a Doer how to reach the dream. Ask them how you should prepare.
What negative realities of optimism do you see?
How might leaders resolve the negative realities of optimism?
I have always been a hard core optimist and it is hard to change. With that said I think about the times things did not meet my expectations. Big dreams result in big disappointments. I wonder how many of those incidents I could have learned more from if I had not expected reality to line up with my unrealistic dreams? Thank you Dan.
Thank Walt. I know a few dispositional optimists. They are so NOT like me that I think they’re faking. 🙂
Keep on smiling.
What negative realities of optimism do you see?
👉 Seeing challenges as a No sign of disapproval.
👉 Failing to be creative because you feel you’re compromising your beliefs and goal.
Failing to define a true personality sometimes equates a pessimist to a realist because of how one feel and react to physical situations as norm.
Leaders can resolve the negative realities of optimism by seeing the true personality in others by being humble, self-aware and discipline.
Everyone got a story to tell but how engage one is determines how the story beats the market without any fear of defeat. Collaboration is the key. Thanks!
Thanks Godwin. Love how you bring up the idea of individuality. Overall, I see the value in optimism. It’s energizing. I think leaders need more optimism than pessimism. But a leader who refuses to acknowledge dark realities is dangerous.
I am a big fan of Edward de Bono’s ‘Six Hats’ thinking. Sometimes you need to put on the black hat and look at all the downsides – just don’t wear it too much of the time.
Thanks Eamon. I haven’t thought of de Bono for a long time. Thanks for adding this to the conversation.
My favorite de Bono quote. “Those who think they know, don’t.”
Good discussion, always start with there is no perfect, but there is always better. All the other points are really about being honestly organized to attack the challenges in hand.
Thanks Roger. It’s hard to make progress and deny reality at the same time. Although I’ve heard that Steve Jobs could.
Dear Dan,
An interesting post and the tough situation that every leader faces while going through the growth phase.
I have seen a visionary CEO holding rounds of meetings with SBUs and Operational Heads in understanding causes of set-backs and the new corrective measures. There is no blame game in the process and all key people are taken in confidence to move forward with progressive steps that are in their control. A new confidence is instilled and revised plans are drawn out with short-term reviews to ensure desired things to progress as planned.
The weaker areas get focused and new funds are pumped to bounce back with greater optimism. Some reshuffle is carried out if needed. Task Force Teams are appointed on SOS basis to put back an Organization on the right path for reaching the refined Goals.
Thanks Dr. Asher. I love how you brought the ‘growth phase’ to this conversation. Optimism and pessimism take different forms in different contexts. Fascinating.
Also, Jared Diamond’s concept of ‘constructive paranoia’ can help us to avoid underestimating the risks and hazards of events that we can control – while still maintaining an optimistic outlook
Thanks again!
I love this post because I am a catastrophizer/realist. It does serve me well in preparation, but, on the flip side, I’m having to teach myself to allow others to dream – and dream big – because that’s the optimism I lack.
Thanks Miki. If we can get over being irritated with others we can leverage the differences. This assumes that we learn to respect each other.
Luck does indeed favor the prepared…
Expect the best (benefits) while anticipating the worst (potential).
Stupidity is evading rhe knowlege that something may hurt, and doing it anyway;
Courage is knowing something may hurt,
and doing it anyway;
Pragmatism is minimizing the hurt because it was seen coming, not ignored, and properly planned for.
Avoidance is good, but evasion is deadly.
Pure optimism is just as deadly as pure cynicism.
Thanks Rurbane. Brilliant!
Great read. One thing I have noticed about myself (an optimist) is that I tend to avoid things that I’m not sure if I will excel in or not. Is this true of other optimists? Or is this simply and insecurity? I think, for myself, it is a little of both.
Thank you for the post, Dan.
Realist Optimist never believe that world is full of possible outcomes. They can distinguish between things that are of their control and that are out-of-their-control. It takes iterations of defensive pessimism to resolve negative realities of optimism.
I found more to stimulate my thinking in this post than usual. I don’t like too much pessimism on the work team because people feel defeated. “It’s no use worrying – nothing is going to turn out right.” I also believe in dreaming, even if you can’t do anything about it today. Dreaming big dreams takes practice and you need to think things through ahead of putting those dreams into action. I’m feeling pessimistic about this post.
Welcome, fellow misanthrope …
Don’t worry, be happy …
Affirm the good,
Let the bad stew in their own juices,
Let God sort sort the rest …
(Tongue in Cheek … 😉
Although I sign all of my mail “Positively” and have worked long and hard to see possibilities rather than pitfalls I can see the wisdom in becoming aware of all that is involved in decision making; i.e. taking blinders off.In the olden days I would have felt defensive when reading this title. I did appreciate Rurbane’s first comment . The advantage of aging is looking back on times when blind optimism led me into situations of conflict and even danger. Thanks as usual for stimulating post. Positively, Pauline