3 Ways to Shrink a Bighead
“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” Ann Landers
7 reasons humility is a brilliant idea:
- You’re not as smart as you think. Make room for ignorance. You don’t know what you don’t know.
- People that seem stupid become smart as time passes. Your parents got smarter when you had your own kids.
- Compliments are only partially true. People smile and tolerate your unattractive qualities.
- Self-made is an arrogant myth. We all stand on the shoulders of others. You’re reaching too low if you aren’t standing on someone’s shoulders.
- Control is illusion. You live a life of dependency.
- You’re going to change your mind.
- Success, in large part, is good fortune. You were at the right place at the right time.
3 ways to shrink a bighead:
Practice humility even if you feel arrogant.
#1. Earn respect – acknowledge weakness.
News Alert! Others already know your weaknesses. They respect you when you acknowledge what they already see.
Leaders earn respect when they see themselves as they are, not as they imagine themselves to be.
Look for opportunities to say, “I’m not good at….” Take humility to the next level by adding, “But you are.”
#2. Let others be right.
Every idea a bighead has is awesome. But every idea others have needs improvement or correction.
Think, “How might this be right?” when someone has an idea.
#3. Make mistakes.
Bigheads can’t improve because they can’t be wrong.
Arrogance doesn’t make mistakes. When was the last time you learned from screwing up?
Trying things takes you further than demanding certainty before stepping out. Humility allows for learning, growing, and improvement.
“A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying in other words that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.” Alexander Pope
Why is humility a brilliant idea?
How might bigheads practice humility?
Resources:
THE IDEAL TEAM PLAYER, PATRICK LENCIONI (Recommended Reading)
MODELING HOW TO GROW: AN INDUCTIVE EXAMINATION OF HUMBLE LEADER BEHAVIORS, CONTINGENCIES, AND OUTCOMES (Academy of Management Journal)
Why is humility a brilliant idea? It helps keep people grounded to the reality that “we really don’t know it all”, nor should we “pretend to know it all”! The consequences can be humbling, if not devastating when we are wrong.
How might bigheads practice humility? Learn to keep their mouth shut and ears open.
Good stuff. Humility is a hard thing when the world seem to demand competence and knowledge and capability of you every day. But it is a great thing to be able to slow the brain and step back and see possibilities for improvement and personal growth.
Nicely framed and executed, Dan. Thanks, as always.
This from me now being retired in Cuenca, Ecuador…
God gave us one mouth and two ears use them in that order.
Oh and listening to yourself talk does not count.
Humility would be me not posting my thought here! And also, humility keeps us open to growth, which no one ever stops needing. Thank you, Dan.
I love that you reference Ideal Team Player. We use that book for many of our practices here. We also give it to all of our new hires as part of their onboarding package. It makes for a great discussion starter as we start to learn about new people. I also very much love this post. Humility is something that I didn’t have much of as a young person. It’s been a long, strange, and humbling trip to get to where I am today. Now I see that humility is a blessed lesson.
Good evening,
Great piece. Whenever I read words that center on reality my mind soars to higher levels of thinking.
Leaders are human beings. Leadership is a state-of-mind. It would be so nice if the average leader displayed a sense of humility out in public. Remained down-to-earth and modest. In my experience as being an employee in the workplace, leadership rarely showed traits of humility. It simply was not the nature of who they were. I enjoy being around people who are human. They only show who they really are. It makes a world of difference to encounter leadership who never fear their true nature. Besides, you can only pretend and wear that mask but only for so long. Life will guide the light and shine the truth of you are unto the world. This includes people in leadership positions. Life is real, and one can only hide but only for so long.