Don’t expect high performance when you sabotage enthusiasm.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Jewish Proverb
Words have consequences. You don’t have to be a genius to identify words that energize people and words that suck the life out of people.
Conversation starters:
- What do you love doing?
- What are you great at?
- Why did they hire you?
- What do people see in you that invites them to trust you?
- Go ahead and brag. What’s going well?
More good things are happening in your organization than bad. The problem is, you notice bad with greater frequency and intensity.
Energizing response:
Response invites response. Learn to respond in ways that strengthen relationships and produce results.
Shelly Gable’s research found that people commonly respond to good news in one of four ways.
4 responses to good news:
Passive destructive response:
- Disinterest.
- Lack of attention.
- Changing the topic of conversation.
- Acts distracted. (Looking at your computer screen or watch.)
“Guess what happened to me.”
Passive constructive response:
- Passive engagement.
- Low enthusiasm.
- Casual smile.
- Nodding.
“That’s nice.”
Active destructive response:
- Point out problems. Everything isn’t ALL good.
- Focus on uncertainty.
- Express concern.
- Reactive.
- Skeptical.
“Are you sure?”
Active constructive response:
- “Tell me more.”
- “That’s fantastic.”
- “How did this happen?”
- Physically lean in.
- Pat on the back.
- Congratulate.
- Turn from your computer screen.
“That’s fantastic.”
The video, “Active Constructive Responding,” illustrates all four responses. (YouTube)
Toward energy:
#1. Create an environment where noticing GOOD is part of the mix. I’ve started saying, “Tell me something good.” People look at me like I’m nuts. Just keep doing it.
#2. It takes more skill and intelligence to make positive suggestions than it does to point out what won’t work.
#3. Say, “Tell me something that might work.” Or, “What could we try?”
How do leaders throw cold water on enthusiasm?
How might leaders fuel energy?
Bonus material:
Flourish, Martin Seligman (Book)
Constructive responding worksheet (Pdf)