Over Worked and Stressed Out
It’s not the work that stresses you out. It’s doing it alone.
15 Sources of stress for leaders:
- Incompetence. You’re flaying in water that’s too deep for your current abilities.
- Procrastination. Lack of preparation makes your heart race.
- Lack of control. A forced retirement is stressful, for example.
- Delay. Waiting for team members to do their jobs makes you pace.
- Disappointment. People who don’t complete commitments are like empty glasses to the thirsty.
- Lack of skill at delegating. Every time you delegate to the wrong person, stress increases. (One way to spot great team members is stress goes down when you delegate to them.)
- Exhaustion. Everything that’s bad is made worse by fatigue, including stress.
- Customer dissatisfaction.
- Office politics and backstabbing colleagues. The need to constantly protect yourself is pouring effort into buckets with holes.
- Unrealistic expectations. Some bosses believe the way to get the most out of people is to give them more to do than they can complete.
- Sickness and death.
- Tragedy or trauma.
- Feeling judged. Fearing the opinions of people with position or power is stressful.
- New experiences.
- Lack of support. Rowing a big boat alone multiplies stress.
Self-inflicted stress:
The worst pains are self-inflicted.
The stress I feel is intensified by rowing alone. Instead of inviting people in, I’m inclined to close them out.
Ego-driven stress is self-inflected. You might disguise it as generosity. You don’t want to bother others. But rowing the boat alone is your problem. Humility lowers stress.
Self-imposed stress is unnecessary. When you’re stressed about a decision, invite stakeholders for input. Don’t surrender responsibility; explore options with others.
You row the boat alone because you choose to be alone.
Make stress an invitation to include others. The question is, “Who to invite into your boat?”
Stress won’t kill you. Rowing alone will.
What stresses leaders?
How might leaders include others when stress goes up?
Dan
My old boss and mentor Gene was in the Navy and taught me his Lifeboat Theory of managing. When you are the leader and in a crisis you need to decide who to bring into your lifeboat and in what order. Different crises change the choices and the order.
Brad
Thanks Brad. So true. When the wrong person is in the boat, everything gets more difficult.
One point of reflection for leaders might be, how do I feel after delegating a task to someone.
Wow- didnt know i needed to read/hear these points this morning, but I did! Kind of a slap in the face when detailed out. I’ve got a new perspective on the daily ‘stress’ today, and I’m gonna make some changes. Thank you!
Thanks Eliza. And I wish you well. Have a great day and week.
Two leaders I know —-tell me it’s not the work that stresses them, it’s some of the difficult personalities they have to deal with day-to- day. The victims, overly aggressive people, doom and gloom types etc.
Thanks Paul. It’s important to note that people and stress are connected. I think worrying about what the “wrong” people are going to do is stressful.
Stress is sometimes self-imposed, especially if you are an overachiever. Sometimes it is learning to let go of things outside your control.
As Paul notes above, dealing with difficult personalities can cause undue stress whether it’s your boss, coworkers, or clients. In this case, remember you can’t always control what happens around you, you can, however, choose how you respond. You are not responsible for the behavior of others, you are only responsible for yourself.
Self-awareness is the key to dealing with stress. As Brad says, learn to recognize when you are beginning to row alone – then it’s time to invite the right people in to help reduce the stress.
Thanks Carolyn. Learning to let go of things you can’t control and taking hold of things you can control takes courage as well. I think it’s easier to struggle with things you can’t control. At least then, you have an excuse when things don’t change. It takes real courage to wrestle with things we can control. Maybe courage and stress are connected.
Lack of control is an interesting one. Many years ago I was exhausted from trying to change certain corporate operating procedures that I felt were creating barriers to innovation. I finally realized that change was impossible going head-on through the ‘front door’, and began looking for other ways to introduce innovation. I immediately felt a huge burden being lifted….and within weeks was able to introduce positive changes through some ‘back doors’ that suddenly opened while the front door still remained shut.
I don’t think rowing alone will kill you. Rowing with the wrong people and conditions don’t allow you to change and get out of the boat for a few months will stress you out.
But it is an opportunity to work on your coping skills.
Most of us don’t get to invite anyone onto the boat. The crew is chosen for us. Like Rumsfeld said “You go to war with the army you have…”
Wow! Another self-induced stress doom-loop is #10 and #6. And it resonates with my recent re-acquaintance with “the wise, the foolish, and the evil” (Dr. Henry Cloud). You nailed it out of the park today, Dan!
Ouch. Lots to consider here and some changes to make.