Are You Calling Me Old and Fat
NEW BOOK GIVEAWAY!!
20 copies available!!
Leave a comment on this guest post by Maya Hu-Chanto to become eligible for one of 20 complimentary copies of her new book, Saving Face: How to Preserve Dignity and Build Trust.
(Deadline for eligibility is 6/13/2020. International winners will receive electronic versions.)
Cultural intelligence is a crucial skill for leaders of diverse teams.
It isn’t an innate gift. Cultural intelligence can be acquired through intentionality and practice.
My AAA Model for Cultural Agility (Aware, Acquire, Adapt) helps leaders develop cultural intelligence.
Aware: Reflect on your state of mind, biases, and assumptions.
Amy is a new member of a global executive team. During a team dinner, Amy, who is Asian, comments that Bob, who’s American, looks “old” and “has gained weight.” Bob reacts with humor, “Are you calling me old and fat?” he asks, but the rest of the team is shocked.
What happened here? Amy lacked the awareness that, in Western culture, comments about age and weight are considered rude. But that’s not the whole story.
Acquire: Ask questions. The answers help you understand where others are coming from.
The team asked Amy for the intention behind her comments. Was she trying to be rude? Not at all. In Asian culture, older people are perceived as wise.
“That’s the reason I said he’s old. He’s a wise leader.”
And the weight comment?
“It’s a way to say, ‘I noticed you’re eating and sleeping well. I care about you. I’m paying attention.’”
Having acquired her perspective, the team understood that although she had inadvertently caused Bob to lose face, her intentions were positive.
Adapt: Bridge the difference by adapting new behaviors and mindset.
The Western execs adapted by becoming more aware of the cultural differences on their team. They no longer rushed to make assumptions.
Amy adapted her behavior in global environments, aware of the potential for cultural misunderstandings. They started to work in harmony — and share some laughs.
Cultural intelligence can’t run on autopilot.
Remember “AAA” — Aware, Acquire, Adapt — and you can master this crucial leadership skill.
What kind of awkward situations has cultural ignorance created for you?
How do you respond to cultural blunders?
Maya Hu-Chan is a globally-recognized keynote speaker, author, leadership educator, and ICF Master Certified Coach. She is the president of Global Leadership Associates. She has authored two books, Global Leadership: The Next Generation and Saving Face: How to Preserve Dignity and Build Trust. Read more at: http://www.mayahuchan.com.
I guess it is about context and upbringing. I’ve seen this play out as an old fat white guy married to a Chinese woman for 38yrs with two now adult Children who were both adopted from China. I also have a Chinese son in law and live in a 75% Chinese community. I’ve long since let any cultural differences expressed in word bother me, I just laugh and smile.
Laugh and smile … The ironies abound …sounds wise and well to me.
Such a timely post! Cultural intelligence is still a gap and an area of opportunity for Westerners, and for us Americans in particular. Thanks for contributing this!
Building the relationship is a key to trust in leadership but it can be difficult in some organizations.
Empathy is crucial in all these instances to deal manage the risk of cultural blunders
Good points. I would add “Accept,” as in accept that cultural mishaps are going to happen and accept that they are not and should not be deal breakers. Thanks for fueling our thoughts for the day.
A few years back, while working as a barista, I had a wonderful opportunity to acquire some cultural awareness that serves me well to this day, especially in my current position. I frequently had Japanese customers and I noticed on day that they always seemed to receive everything two-handed. A cup of coffee, a credit card, napkins, anything I I handed them, they took with both hands. I had one particular customer who was exceptionally sweet and one day, privately, I asked about the custom. She told me that in Japanese culture, giving or receiving things with two hands is the custom and is considered polite. I immediately adopted the custom and incorporated it into my daily behavior, returning the gesture when I encountered it from then on.
I have since left that position but my new position afford me an opportunity to work with international visitors on a regular basis. We frequently have groups of Japanese visitors and this bit of acquired cultural knowledge has served me well. I find that I am immediately taken more seriously and conversations are much easier and more fluid on both sides. The author is correct in that you can’t put cultural awareness on auto-pilot, but being a bit more consciously aware goes a long way towards good relationships!
Years ago when I worked in retail, an Asian woman complained to my boss I had been rude to her as she purchased an item. When questioned about it, she said that after I rang up her credit card purchase, I handed the item and credit card directly to her over the counter, versus coming out from behind the counter to hand her the items with two hands. This was the first time anyone in the store had heard that our standard procedure was considered rude in the Asian community. In recent years, I’ve noticed more stores having employees come out from behind the cash register to hand you your purchase.
While I was stationed in Europe I remember many of my American compatriots warning me that all of locals in Belgium were rude, didn’t like Americans, and went out of there way to treat us badly. What I actually found was that the Belgians (and Europeans in general) at work were very much about business and very direct in questioning and answering. When off duty or in the neighborhood they were very welcoming, respectful, and inquisitive. All it took was a little time and awareness to distinguish the difference.
Interesting content both in the article and in the comments. It prompts me to visit the website of the author, Maya Hu-Chan. An reminds me of how we judge behaviour very much through our “culturally-tinted glasses”. Perhaps we should all be taught lessons in anthropology, or at least, be introduced to the wide portfolio of behaviours that illustrate cultural differences we are bound to come across in a world that, in ‘normal times’ is less closed by (legal or other) boundaries.
Being from the south where hugging is the “norm” and now living up north where it isn’t the “norm” and, in fact, is seen as “inappropriate” this is one I still struggle with!
I attended a workshop where the keynote speaker spoke French as a first language and English as a second language. He used the term “retarded.” I winced, but chose not to say anything. He seemed to have been struggling a bit to choose his words, so I considered it an unfortunate byproduct of word selection and not understanding why that word would be offensive to the audience.
Understanding of multiple perspectives is critical to our growth as a society.
It appears that this book is timely and needed in today’s world.
I have dealt with this same thing in my job. Our company is headquartered in France and is a global company. I work with French, Swedish, Danish, Chinese, German, and a many more people from all over the globe. For me I have learned not to take these comments personally, and us those times to learn more about the individual and the culture they come from. There are many cultural differences across this globe, and in these moments we should take them as a learning opportunity. However, the difficulty can be in how your team may take these comments or cultural differences. So as a leader you must be intentional in guiding and growing your team to understand these cultural differences and not letting them divide your team or give rise to cliques or gossip inside your team.
I have raised two Chinese Children daughter (now 27 adopted at 15 months), son (now 25 adopted at 13 months) with a Chinese wife of 38 years while living in Arcadia, Ca since 2001. Arcadia is nearly 75% Asian mostly Chinese. I’ve also been a member of a Chinese Church for over 20 years and worked with Chinese Youth at Church for 12 years. My BBBWG (big bald beautiful white guy) influence white washed both my Children as their peers jealously always said. I fought hard to make sure any Asian guilt was minimized in my home and my wife agreed with me which in my estimation has made my now adult Children a sort of mixture of both cultures. My Son In Law also a China adoptee (he is 27 adopted at age 10 by his Caucasian parents in East Texas) does not carry any Asian guilt. I only mention Asian guilt as I’ve found it drives responses for youth in how they respond to people and events. My SIL speaks even better Mandarin than my wife and tries to get my Daughter to speak Mandarin in their home (Tyler, TX) with my now nearly 10 month old Grandson. Culturally my Daughter, my Son and my SIL approach life and interactions much differently than if they had been raised 100% Chinese. So being raised Chinese in a western cultural setting does make one respond differently to the world. Food choices I’ve found don’t change much as their seems to be some embedded gene nature for some foods as a result of being Chinese.
So interesting to know how different cultures perceive things differently. Would an Asian brought up in a Western environment think the same as Amy too?
Here for the book.
I’ve worked for a large Japanese IT company for nearly 20 years and every year I’ve learned more and more around the nuances of different cultures. I’ve realised that you wont always get it right but having an awareness of your surroundings, sensing the reactions of people around you and being open to 1. make a fool of yourself and 2. learn new things help massively. The need to see things from different perspectives has always been important – now it’s crucial
As we embark on a cultural awareness campaign in our organization, this message – as usual – could not be more timely. I find the first skill critical to learn is to “presume positive intent.” If you start there, then you are not already upset when working to be aware, acquire, and adapt.
I taught English in China for 3 summers. My adult students (men) were disappointed that I didn’t look like a movie star and even questioned me about my appearance. I learned that everything they know about Westerners they learned from TV, Movies, YouTube, etc. Adult students visiting me from France wanted to ride horses and shoot guns like cowboys. They too were disappointed when I told them…no cowboys here. I learned a lot about US culture from visiting different countries. Much of it is Hollywood made.
I would love to read Old and Fat. I feel as tho I helped write this book. I have long held that ageism is completely sanctioned in our country. It is easy to blame the advertising market, promoting all the 20 somethings. As far as fat, I think we reject all that is fat because it is the easiest thing for most of us to be. I remember the quote from a famous actress. She gains talent every 10 lbs she loses.
Relationships are key!
Well, if the XXX Large Shirt fits, wear it!
Wow, what a difference a few simple words can make. I haven’t encountered any situation like this, however that does not mean I will not. When I was in college and learned some of the cultural differences it amazes me and makes me want to learn more about those differences just to be more culturally aware.
I work for a company with an amazing amount of diversity, which often translates to new hires with names that are not always obvious to me in terms of correct pronunciation. I have found that 100% of the time I can turn my own ignorance of how to correctly pronounce someone’s name into a learning & relationship building opportunity by gently inquiring how that individual wants their name pronounced, usually accompanied by a conversation about the person’s background & origin of the name. Rather than being frustrated based on my background, this approach always helps me learn, builds new relationships & helps the new person relax & be more comfortable in our work environment.
To tell the truth I don’t know how to comment the book in a good way but I’m actually impressed with the thought of considering “cultural intelligence is a crucial skill for leaders of diverse teams” especially the “AAA – Aware, Acquire, Adapt” formula. I wish my top leader could have read it, it may help eliminate the current setback of his and my ministry in here.
It takes self awareness to begin to work at self awareness and understanding others.
Would love to have the book. Increasing self awareness and understanding others is a lifelong endeavor
I would love this book opportunity.
I can highly relate to Amy’s story as I’ve had the same experience of being called “fat” in English when the meaning behind was that I was prosperous enough to have food and be healthy. Face is a critical issue cross-culturally and within our own culture. I like Dan’s AAA on cultural intelligence. I use OWE – observe, watch, and explore. Cultural intelligence is a critical skill needed when entering a new culture or position in another company. All companies have their own “culture”.
This is a great reminder to be gracious to others and assume positive intent. I admire anyone who learns a new language well enough to do business in another country. As someone else mentioned, I think sometimes it is a language barrier, using a word incorrectly that can cause misunderstandings and grace is always a good place to start. I have relatives from France who speak English much better than I speak French, I find it refreshing to hear them seek and admire them being willing to jump right in. English is not an easy language.
Cultural agility is a necessary component in today’s workforce. You must have cultural awareness and then work into appreciation if you are ever to reach agility. If it means nothing to you, meaning you are giving it lip service, then you won’t value it as needed, won’t inculcate it into your work habits, and your team will summer (as will your business model). The more we can do to promote and improve diversity in all facets of the work environment, the more agile and responsive your business will be.
This is good! I’m always learning something new.
Starting with heart and not assuming evil intentions of the speaker, but rather using appreciative inquiry, can do wonders. While some people are mean-spirited, in most cases it is the lack of understanding of diverse cultures and practices. How we recover with grace and saving face is the responsibility of both the speaker and the receiver.
Amazing topic. Love the AAA philosophy, this strategy supports our new norm and help current issues we are having today.
I was only 22 when I was made supervisor of a team of 20 people, mostly recent immigrants and refugees from about ten different countries! I’m 69 now so you can imagine how few resources I found to help me and how much I would have appreciated having Maya’s book back then. I love how in the example, the team asked her to explain and learned her actual intentions, instead of assuming she wanted to insult Bob. Questions are so very important!
Great post, Amy! Your AAA model applies not only to different nationalities. cultures, and races, but to spousal, parental, and inter-generational interactions as well. We run the risk of offending and damaging relationships when we assume others should think and act as we do. Looking forward to learning more from you book. All the best.
Very timely topic. We seem to have lost and need to develop the art of active listening. Listening for understanding from the speaker’s perspective.
As a school administrator in a district with little diversity, this is a critical topic to ensure all students and families feel valued and included. Equity is our topic of focus for the upcoming school year, and Maya’s book would help with learning as a leader moving forward.
I would love this book opportunity.
As part of my master’s program we went to China for 11 days and our guides quickly taught us that in order to move through large groups we’d need to stop waiting in lines that didn’t exist and push through. Apparently our “mid-west nice” would leave us in the same place all day 🙂
Great article and good insights for my team
Good stuff — I would appreciate a copy of that book about saving face/building trust. I’ve definitely had my share of experiences where I probably could’ve used this book!
Appreciative Inquiry seems to be a lost art. When we take the time to pause, reflect and inquire it allows us to become aware, acquire knowledge and adapt our response/behavior. Too often we expect others to adapt to our way of thinking as the right way.
I always try to complain less and compliment more, listen and be patient and react less and respond better. Being overweight my entire life I really try to keep a very positive attitude and smile a lot.
I unfortunately do not live in a very culturally diverse environment I did grow up in one though and this is something I want to instill in my children and I so much appreciate the AAA acronym. That will stick with me and help me daily. I look forward to reading this book.
So important to be intentional to convey your message accurately AND while considering the impact it has on others as well. Thanks Dan!
The concept sounds interesting but the example provided misses the mark for me. I hope the book has more in the way of addressing cultural ignorance where a person who is white is the one being ignorant.
I think in today’s working world, cultural sensitivity is so important. No longer are the days where are we white versus asian or Christian versus Jewish. It was easier in those days because one had somewhat of a sense of culture. Today, we are in a “whatever I say I am world” and making sure as managers that we are respectful of that, is critical. I think this book would be a great tool in the toolbox of leadership!
Being the oldest employee at our company AND being an Asian American Woman, I find as a Director I am always seeking ways to lead the conversation for diversity and leadership both inside and out of our organisation. I look forward to reading your book as it sounds like you’ve hit it spot on. Thank you!
Very timely…emotional intelligence/cultural intelligence is the key. Ask more questions and listen more. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for the thoughts in this article. I would love this free book for myself and to pass information on.
This is great advice. From someone who thought that they were doing the right thing by not seeing color realized later on that this was wrong. I needed to see the color to appreciate what went along with it. Thank you for always presenting something when I need it.
Being in a primarily wasp community I need all the help I can get understanding and improving relationships between minorities, age differences, sex differences etc, I know my managers quickly assume negative intent when it is often just mixed signals.
If your book will help I’ll read it!
Cultural awareness is very important. Having lived in two distinct cultures (Japanese and Latin American), I’ve learned to observe and learn. I found that having at least one close host culture friend who was willing to respond to my questions was critical in reducing causing embarrassment to my host citizens or my own embarrassment.
This is a fantastic concept, one that is lost on so many. It crosses cultures and generations.
We all need another tool in our toolbox, and DEI initiatives and how to move forward and attain these new goals is so important right now. I like the concept of the three As, leads to more rich conversation and understanding of cultural and age based bias.
Dear Dan,
An interesting thoughtful post!
It’s true that hiding wrong things is much more difficult than telling the truth. It is often seen in a personal and professional life. We have a fear to confess wrong things what we have done and face the consequences. Moreover, not telling a wrong thing at the right time leads to series of wrong doing which may be much more dangerous than accepting the truth.
Precisely, ‘Speaking the truth’ is one good trait to build a strong character and the earn self-esteem with pride.
I was expecting the opposite of the shred example when I read the title of the book and then the remainder of the blog.
I was expecting the example to help the person making the blunder. I felt the example was more aimed toward the person receiving the blunder. After a re-read I realize the author specifically states “My AAA Model… helps leaders develop cultural intelligence.”
In situations like the example, when I make a remark that someone replies with an answer like “Are you calling me old and fat?” My immediate reaction is to assess the situation behind their response. Were they really being funny, or is that a reactive joke with more behind it?
If there is a hint of something else behind the joke, I’ll own my remarks and provide a sincere explanation or an apology if needed. I don’t leave time for others to apply the AAA. I’m applying it myself and making sure they feel safe with me again.
When someone makes comments to me that may make me want to say things like “Are you calling me old and fat?” If I really feel offended, I’ll try to assess the situation or perhaps ask them for clarity.
I’ve had someone say to me “Look at your hands and your face, you don’t work hard!”
If you didn’t understand a bit about them and their culture, it would be easy to take offence to hearing this. What he meant was I don’t do hard labour type of work. My hands and face would show the wear and tear of physically tough and demanding work. His whole life was hand-callusing-back-breaking hard work. Who am I to be offended at his observation of the work I do?
Compared to what he did to make a living, I have it easy.
Excellent topic! We do not live in a world where we operate alone. Our culture has a huge impact on us and how others see us. We have to create awareness of culture and how it shows in people and shapes our views.
I would love a chance to get the book, but also want to reflect on the idea that ensuring that I am paying attention to body language (if speaking in person) and being aware of places where offense may be taken has been difficult during the difficult times. Emails are easy to get offended by and it is difficult to have a fully honest interaction via email that is uncomfortable. It appears that the book may help identify awareness for myself and for those that I follow as well as those that are stuck with following me.
A part of cultural awareness for me has been that I grew up in a culture that valued open expression, but I have been working in a culture that promotes polite conversation and an almost disdain for pointing out inadequacies or expressing frustration. The way that people communicate is a very important aspect of culture that I forget sometimes to weigh as I interact with my peers, partners, and other co-workers.
Very timely topic. I think elevating our cultural awareness can help us navigate the conversations we need to have in the US.
Working at the same institution for almost 19 years, you tend to forget how other offices conduct their interoffice relationships and build trust with co-workers. Trying to be mindful that a new employee doesn’t have that immediate “family” feel for the organization and needs time to develop that type of loyalty is sometimes a struggle. This can lead to unintended miscommunication and reading situations from the completely opposite angle. It takes a lot of effort and “taking a minute to reflect” before reacting on a daily basis! This book looks to be helpful in recognizing the opportunities to bridge that gap. I look forward to reading it.
In today’s America, it seems that many people are looking for a reason to be offended, rather than to try and understand. When one begins with that mindset, it’s no wonder they’re offended. Communication is difficult enough under the best circumstances. Giving people the benefit of the doubt helps turn potential conflict into learning experiences.
My company is building a culture of “assuming positive intent” of others’ actions. That is tough sometimes with our own biases and motives. It requires hitting the pause button and asking clarifying questions. This was a fantastic example! BC
Such a great reminder that we all have something to learn from each other, and that listening and becoming aware is a good first step in understanding. Thank you.
With everything going on today, this is a very timely topic of discussion. I would like to learn more this book could help.
Years ago, when conducting a new employee orientation session, I made a passing remark about my brother being a hillbilly. I come from the mountains of Northeast Tennessee and I grew up hearing that word, but I didn’t know the origin. I certainly didn’t intend for it to be negative or derogatory. I was mortified when I got the written employee evaluations and one of our new hires said they were offended by my hillbilly remark. I did some research into the origins of the word and learned that it is derogatory. I contacted the employee immediately and apologized. And I stopped using the word hillbilly.
If we don’t learn, we don’t grow.
Since my staff have interactions with newly arriving refugees, learning as much about different cultures as possible is really important. Things like eye contact, soles of shoes, etc. can all impact the interactions. And while our refugees are often understanding of any faux pas made, being able to demonstrate respect and understanding of their cultures often opens doors to better communication and relationships quickly. Would love to read the book!
This book would definitely be a valuable asset on our management team!
I think we all need to find common ground and keep the critiquing for perhaps a better place, surely not at work, although lunchtimes does leave room for engaging conversation that could lead to uncomfortable moments, when all else fail address things now.
As a French living in US I can definitely see the cultural difference, really interesting!
We always hear to be nice or shut up, but exactly how to make cultural interactions work is elusive. Increasingly, it is a critical skill and the advice provided helps set us in the correct direction.
Cultural Sensitivity is extremely valuable and it helps differentiate and elevate you from your competitors. “You never get a second chance to make a first impression” is very true wisdom. Learning about cultures requires specific intent and action. The first step is to IDENTIFY cultures so you can intentionally target your study and learning about each culture. One cannot merely say “I want to learn about cultures.” That does not work. Attention to Detail makes all of the difference in multi-cultural situations.
So often in the human journey, people can only consider a situation through a singular cultural lens. They do not recognize their ethnocentrism/egocentrism and/or monocultural approach. This is an important reminder of cultural variances that exist both by nations and apply even as we talk to our neighbors. Slowing things down, pressing pause, listening well, are all good habits to develop for listeners. We can choose to take offense where none was offered. And we can choose not to take offense even when it was intended.
As a world language teacher and administrator, I appreciate the discussion around cultural sensitivity and appreciation of our differences and what we all have in common. I look forward to reading the book!
True Leadership is first knowing where you want to get to in business have vision to get there . The three P”s People ,Process, and Product. Bring your entire team in and share your vision, your thoughts, your plan to get where your vision is. Do not leave it there explain to every team player what role they have in achieving the goals. Allow them to do what you hired them to do. Put them out front of you they put the hard work in let them take credit for the accomplishment . Do this and watch your team get stronger, work harder, and move your company forward.
Serving in a multicultural, multi-generational healthcare setting brings challenges as well as opportunities to posture myself to learn from others. The ability to extend empathy across diversity allows for true relationship and understanding to be established.
Even in our own country we have cultural differences which can be misunderstood. Growing up in Alaska, I have a different perception of the world than someone growing up in New York City.
Being open to learning and understanding the nuances of different cultures is important to any relationship. Respecting those nuances is critical.
I have definitely run into this before when I briefly managed an employee in China. My team initially made the mistake of getting down to work too quickly and not allowing for the proper amount of relationship building. It took a separate trip to China and a week of just learning about each other to reset the relationship. Ended up being a wonderful relationship!
This is great and can be applied in so many different settings. The culture includes the different generations on my team and how they communicate back and forth. I spend time relaying what the perception is when one acts or says something that offends or shocks the other one.
On the side note, I had the same story happen from a former employee I hadn’t seen in some time. She told me she didn’t recognize me because I gain weight! I just laughed it off, but those around me were shocked. It’s true, I have gained weight in the past 10 years! Can’t deny the truth!
Great info on increasing cultural intelligence and better relationships within our diverse work environments. Thanks for sharing this with us.
I am learning from others by just reading through their experiences.
Instead of taking offense, it is good to open up a dialog for understanding the other position. There is usually a reason behind our actions. Love the AAA formula. I will be more aware in my future contact with others.
Love your blog!
Would love a copy
My company works internationally and used to have a system of “cross-cultural knowledge,”
for which familiarity was required for all Project Managers and others. When I was assigned to work with a project based in France, I used this system to help identify our cultural differences and how I could adjust my behavior and my expectations. It also included a self-profile capability that allowed you to see how well you fit into any other culture you selected. When I started to work on a project with a Brazilian client, I tried to access the same system and learn what I could. For cost cutting reasons, it had been eliminated…a real lose for our company.
There have been a few times where I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth – especially in public speaking settings while I didn’t even realize I was offending anyone…. These are great reminders as we diversify our teams more.
Another issue to be mindful of in a group of people with different backgrounds is that some nations or cultures have a history of tension and you may cause discomfort by placing people in close proximity.
I would love to have a copy, I would soo read it! I’m graduating with my MBA this year, and I’ve really learned a lot about emotional intelligence and how to connect with people. This would definitely add to my arsenal of people skills!
I have been working over the last five years to help our community bridge across difference, educating themselves and others. I would love to learn more about these strategies and add a new tool for our tool box!
I need this book now; as we prepare for our students to come back to campus, we are struggling with communicating with those who think they shouldn’t have to wear masks, and how to address the students who are all about Black Lives Matter. I love the three As…they are so important as we struggle with how to interact when we aren’t sure how our messages are being heard.
I love this aware, acquire, adapt and am eager to learn more! Thank you for sharing!
This is a great topic and one that is applicable not only with respect to “culture” as a matter of country or geographic origin, but also in terms of organizational culture. I hired a new staff member last year with great qualifications and work ethic, but assimilating into the organizational culture has been a struggle for her. She is unaccustomed to working with the culturally diverse clientele that we serve, as well as with the level of professionalism and standards of decorum and tact that are ingrained within our professional environment
Great reminder to not “assume”!
This has always been critical but feels particularly relevant today!
Maya’s is another reminder, for another reason, that you have to slow down in order to keep going in complex environments. AAA may be learnable, but it does take time, and can feel, and be thought “inefficient.” (I winced when I read Ted Madden’s comment that the cultural awareness support in his multi-national firm had been eliminated in a cost-cutting reaction. I wonder how much those savings have cost them!) I also wonder how much motives matter. If I think, “OK, so in order to make money I have to learn this cultural awareness stuff,” will it really go deep enough to be effective? I believe (and sometimes forget, in haste or fear) that the people I encounter are fully that–people–and that they are more important and lasting than whatever we are coming together to do. Be quick, but don’t hurry.
I am a Native American, so as you can imagine, I have been on the receiving end of culture awkwardness many times. It can be difficult to tell individuals that their actions have not only offended me, but others in the room as well. I have found myself in many situations as you told above. If the offending party will be around longer than one instance, I try to understand their side and then explain to them their offense. It is not always easy to settle.
Great topic, very timely too. I enjoy learning from my colleagues about their culture, traditions, and history. It really helps me understand them and improve our overall relationship. Understanding hand gestures is very important as you travel/communicate with others too. A thumbs up has very different meanings in other cultures.
Good reminder that we should never assume….we all know what it means
This is a very timely book. The comments are very eye opening. Many customs that I didn’t know. I am definitely going to Maya’s website to learn more.
It’s like the cardinal rule in marriage: sometimes it’s more important what you don’t say than what you do say.
Posting late; all the comments are fascinating. Growing up with Polish relatives (mom) and Welsh relatives (dad) and the French (my uncle’s wife) taught me there are major differences in customs and how different cultures view life and interact with others. Years ago at a reception for my friend’s business associate from India, I was amused by his comment. He had noticed I was wearing perfume, wrinkled his nose, and said “Carole, you smell like crushed plants!”
Living in Hawaii, we deal with many ethnic communities and their various traditions sometimes with ease but there are times when the “American” way comes bumbling into the picture. Once people connect and feel at ease about asking each other about their customs and likes, etc. it becomes a gateway to understanding them and their heritage better. In the time we are living in, it matter even more since the current environment of the Black Lives Matter movement has many rethinking how we accept or ignore another’s heritage. Just like an Asian person’s traditions, there should be more dialogue to allow others to share their community. In the end, we all share this planet and the more we eagerly, inquisitively encounter our neighbor, the more we feel comfortable standing with them.
Understanding cultural context is essential in today’s workforce. I work with people from 3 different countries and have experienced several challenges simply due to a lack of understanding of the different cultures.
Insightful! Thank you for sharing
Love this simple AAA model. Thank you, this is so timely
Amazing giveaway 🙂
These lists are always a breath of fresh air for a still new-ish upper level administrator.