My Black Friend Surprised Me with the Truth
I was shocked when a black friend told me she wasn’t welcomed in some stores in our town. This was years ago. I still don’t understand the realities of racism.
I’ve never feared personal injury when pulled over by a police officer. My greatest fear was losing points on my license.
5 reasons people march in the streets:
#1. Leaders protect themselves.
Instead of owning mistakes, some leaders circle the wagons and cover up the truth.
#2. Leaders talk when they should listen.
Giving people a sense of being heard is the beginning of all connection and resolution.
#3. Leaders surrender to the seduction of power.
Power and position give the illusion of competence and wisdom. Successful leaders consistently stifle the illusion of knowing. Foolish leaders press forward and eventually suffer.
#4. Leaders avoid problems.
Avoiding tough issues is never the way to resolve tough situations.
Stepping into a tough situation is a learning opportunity. All solutions emerge from learning.
#5. Leaders act with arrogance.
Everything bad in leadership begins with big egos.
The path to resolution is paved with humility. You can practice humility when you feel attacked or offended.
Servant-leadership:
Solving the crisis of the day is way over my head, but the principles of servant-leadership always apply.
I’ve reread Leadership Freak articles with our current challenges and opportunities in mind. The principles of servant-leadership guide us through uncertainty, confusion, and pain.
Adapt tactics. Hold to guiding principles.
- Empathy.
- Forward-facing curiosity.
- Humility.
- Integrity.
- Connection.
- Vision.
- Healing.
- Growth and development of people.
- Solution-seeking.
- Building community.
Inspired by, “What is Servant Leadership.”
The path forward:
It’s easy to know what you don’t want and don’t like.
“Don’t wants” create energy. “Do wants” create solutions. The future is built on “Do wants.” In either case, the principles of servant leadership always apply.
What principles of servant leadership are most relevant today?
Bonus material:
George Floyd and Racism: 5 Conversations Credible Leaders Must Have in this Moment (Forbes)
How Should you be talking with Employees about Racism? (Entrepreneur)
Bias when Hiring Mommies, Musicians, and Light Skinned Blacks (Leadership Freak)
“Everything bad in leadership begins with big egos.” Something to chew on this morning! Thanks, Dan.
Thanks Michael. Egoless is a myth. But a big ego puts the wrong person at the center.
“You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.” ~ Charles F. Ketterling
Love that quote, Duane. Thanks for leaving it.
“The great force of history comes from the fact that we carry it within us, are unconsciously controlled by it in many ways, and history is literally present in all that we do.” -James Baldwin
Myself as well Dan with speeding tickets, knowing Dad had the final say, “hoped you learned your lesson”? Typically the letter was on my dinner plate making me aware we can’t hide!
In regards to past history, it appears people still deny things that happened. The world we live in needs to learn right from wrong, and Love conquers Hate! “Love sweet Love, it’s the only thing that there’s much too little of”!
Thanks Tim. I feel your passion this morning. 🙂
“Solving the crisis of the day is way over my head, but the principles of servant-leadership always apply.”
Couldn’t agree more. Listening, asking questions, and building trusting relationships will help us work together.
Thanks for helpful perspective each day.
Thanks Michael. If you ask me, the great leader on a white horse is part of the problem, not the solution.
I don’t think it is entirely accurate to say that the crisis ‘is way over my head.’ I worry that might be a way to give ourselves permission to not address issues that we all have a part in. I would agree that no one of us, by ourselves, can solve this. For me, I need to keep trying to address it, head on. When an issue is a core principal issue, I don’t want to give into the comfortable trap of expecting someone else to fix it. I agree that servant leadership is a good approach.
Thanks Shawn. Perhaps this post is, in a trifling way, participating in the conversation. It’s hard to see how acknowledging ignorance and writing this post is permission to avoid an issue.
Sorry if that is how my comment came across. I think your post is a good framework to try and respond to these issues. Maybe my feelings about that phrase are based in a concern that we need to work hard on this now. We have pushed these issues off for far too long already. Thanks for being willing to address this in your blog.
thanks man!
It seems to me the foundation of everything is building trusting relationships. Allowing ego to grow like a cancer gets in the way of that. If we keep our ego in check and make relationships our main focus, I cannot see how bias and racism can exist. I love your statement, “do want’s create solutions.” I could not agree more.
Dan, thanks for sharing your very “wise counsel.” Empathy is Paramount!
Thanks Vincent. I’ve noticed that empathy tends to go down when power/authority/position go up. It’s a real challenge of leadership.
Leaders protected themselves. The bad apples get moved. Problematic issues are hidden so the leader can look good.
We have seen it with:
–Catholic priests molesting kids.
–Penn State football scandal
–Union leaders in all types of businesses protesting people who should have been fired.
–The Senate having a separate fund to take care of complaints regarding sexual harassment.
One The systemic problem I see is in all businesses and functions is leaders with big egos always want to look good and don’t take decisive action to deal with the bad apples.
Thanks Paul. The courage and integrity to deal with tough issues in a timely way seems to prevent future distress. Perhaps we should choose distress now, not later.
Spot on once again! Thanks😊
Thanks Nancy.
Good message, Dan! We need to remember that “it’s not about me”, but that we need to make a difference in another’s life, thus we become better leaders. We need to humble ourselves to get into the other person’s mind, not our own. As we think more about others and less about ourselves, we can start to make a difference moving forward.
‘Don’t wants’ and ‘Do wants’ … great take home for me!!