Incompetent Infants Aren’t Responsible to do Hard Things
Life without responsibility is easier than life with responsibility. Don’t seek management or leadership if fishing, video games, or playing golf are your greatest aspirations.
Anyone who thinks responsibility is easy is irresponsible.
You learn to embrace responsibility when you learn the value of doing hard things.
Personal:
You lose respect for yourself when you abdicate responsibility for yourself.
You devalue yourself when you expect others to do for you what you are able to do for yourself.
Competence:
You are responsible for the quality of your life and work – unless you are incompetent. You don’t expect incompetent infants to feed themselves, for example. But competence includes responsibility.
Growth and learning have meaning because they improve competence and enable responsibility.
Choose responsibilities carefully. They set the trajectory of your leadership.
3 responsibilities of leadership:
- Notice when people are at their best. Warts and pimples are magnetic.
- Respond to unforeseen events and unexpected consequences with forward-facing curiosity.
- Focus on becoming your best self, not on getting the best results. Your goal is winning, but your focus is bringing your best self to challenges and opportunities.
3 ways to develop responsibility:
#1. View leadership as a calling, not a career.
Contribute to others so deeply that self-care has a reason.
- Turn your focus outward. The next time you feel sorry for yourself, get out of yourself.
- Think more about giving than receiving.
- Stop using disappointment with others as an excuse for self-pity. Self-centered people justify irresponsibility.
#2. Accept a difficult and meaningful assignment:
You rise to the height of your responsibilities.
#3. Have an unfinished work:
“A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward … an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the “why” for his existence and will be able to bear almost any “how”.” Viktor Frankl
What are the core responsibilities of leadership?
How might leaders develop responsibility in others?
What are the core responsibilities of leadership? You have them outlined Accountability for ourselves and others. Courage to lead those who follow. Successfully carrying out the routine to succeed in business and life tend to go hand in hand. Understanding the decisions one makes
may affect everyone differently. Bring prepared for Ebbs in the flow and the ability to navigate the course that fits the best. Understanding people and what they offer and how the system can function as one.
How might leaders develop responsibility in others? Letting others know what’s expected up front. Being open with needs and requirements, so an open path of communications allows functionality. Guide those with the formalities so they aren’t blind sided with levels of requirements that they are not aware of.
Thanks Tim. I notice one thing in your list that seems to be a challenge to aspiring leaders. Understand the impact of decisions. We have to get out of our own world and enter the world of others to appreciate the impact of our decisions on others. That can be challenging for people with high drive.
For a lot of us, leadership is a career, or rather, a part of a career, rather than a calling. Among scientists, the calling is generally to learn, to understand, to discover and to explain. But, as you show yourself more able to do the former, the more you are tasked with leading and managing the process, rather than participating in it, until in the end the job becomes all leadership/management and no learning or discovery. There is no route to progress your position by doing the science, only by leading it. It’s a painful paradox, that most leaders in science are not trained in leadership and ended up there by doing something else.
So true. I am a teacher by calling, but now in an administrative role. It is difficult for me to feel I am focusing on my “why” on a near daily basis. I never questioned it when I was in the classroom. Leaders that encouraged me to seek admin said that I would widen my circle of influence and find fulfillment in that, but I feel like my circle has only gotten smaller. It is a lonely position.
Hey JDH. You aren’t the first person in education that has expressed this daily challenge. Best wishes to you.
JDH – You are correct as I am also an educational leader. I believe a good educational leader has to understand that the responsibility of leadership is always going to be challenging if you are in the profession to change the lives of children one at a time. As you have probably experienced by now many days you wonder if you are making a difference at all. Your circle of influence does widen, however people usually will not tell you that you made a difference until you change positions, schools, or retire. You are doing a great job!
Thanks Mitch. The a career in science and a calling to learn is profound and useful. Also, the paradox of leading is important to note. It starts to feel like the Peter Principle. And if not that, it’s the problem of promoting people without training them. Sadly, there is the idea that if you are good at your job you will be good at managing people who are doing your job.
Found this very insightful “Contribute to others so deeply that self-care has a reason.”
For me leadership is voice into another’s life, that voice recognizes options, and may illuminate a pathway to those places through encouragement, vision, and commitment. (I believe you could develop these skills and would find satisfaction and fulfillment in them…I’d like to walk beside you in the process.)
Thanks Ken. Glad you caught that sentence. Self-care without a reason/need is simply self-indulgence. Love your idea of having voice into another’s life and using encouragement, vision, and commitment as a channel of influence. There have been people in our lives who saw us better than we saw ourselves. And they saw more in us than we saw in ourselves. I’m so thankful for them.
“Focus on becoming your best self, not on getting the best results. Your goal is winning, but your focus is bringing your best self to challenges and opportunities.” I like this especially with challenges substituted for where “problems” would normally be. So positive forward thinking. If one brings your “best self” to all you do, success will flow from that effort. But I admit doing so is tiring and draining both physically and mentally.
Thanks Roger. I enjoy your encouragements about the use of challenge as a replacement for problems. I would add that not all challenges are problems and not all problems are challenges. (I just had to add this. :-))
Permit me to flip the equation; the ‘others’ and ‘people’ plus yourself equals other people believing you toward success. Thus we all need people we believe us and believe in us. Condescension and commandeering has no place in leadership growth.
Thank you for adding to the conversation, Victoria. Generally speaking commands put a damper on enthusiasm and growth. I suppose one might command someone to go do something that in the end would result in growth. You might tell a team member, “Have that tough conversation this afternoon.”
I love this! Even though it is a bit of a gut punch. “Contributing SO DEEPLY” requires constant thought and awareness, but can be so rewarding. A podcast I listen to turned responsibility into “response-ability” – we aren’t necessarily held responsible for the situations we may be in, but we can certainly affect the outcome!
Thanks Laura. Love “response-ability”. We can’t control everything that happens to us. But we can control our response. It seems a leaderly response is outward focused and forward looking.
What are the core responsibilities of leadership?
Influence and inspire people to improve the status quo.
1. Diagnose the situation and clarify what’s happening. Define reality.
2. Identify what’s possible. Working with others determine the best 1 or 2 opportunities.
3. Describe your vision. Sell your ideas and proposals.
4. Implement. Create a plan and make it operational.
How might leaders develop responsibility in others?
Clarify what’s expected. Affirm people and hold them accountable for results.
Thanks Paul. I notice an interesting use of language in #2. “determine the 1 or 2 best opportunities.” Opportunity language forms a larger frame than solution language.
I assume that including others is essential for all 4 responsibilities.
Yes–involve others in all four activities.
Be careful of dising golf, fishing, and gaming. They all require commitment , goal setting and leadership. I have a student currently who is on our High School Bass fishing team who is an All American Bassmaster and wants to pursue a career in fishing. He works for a marine outfit and is doing very well. He earned the highest degree of the Texas FFA on merit of his leadership and accomplishments.
Thanks Renita. Perhaps I should have said, If your highest aspiration is leisure, don’t pursue leadership.
Growth and learning have meaning because they improve competence and enable responsibility. This really hit home for me, the idea that as you grow you become more competent does not always go hand in hand. We also need to learn to be responsible for ourselves. this being the way we act, feel, or think. It is all a growth within ourselves that some times gets lost along the way and is not fully empowered by those we consider leaders so that we may become competent and responsible people.