How Motherhood Makes Many Women Better Leaders
“Motherhood transforms many women into better leaders.” Joann Lublin – Power Moms
Lublin writes, “Tapping skills honed as time-starved parents, they set priorities well, multitasked, and delegated effectively.” And motherhood provides even bigger benefits.
Empathy:
Motherhood teaches empathy.
“Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as being the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so strong that 90% of top performers have high emotional intelligence.” Travis Bradberry
Empathy is a signature quality of emotionally intelligent leaders, along with self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, and social skill. Goleman
Practice empathy:
Sympathy suggests weakness. Empathy shows respect.
Sarah Hofstetter*, current President of Profitero and Campbell Soup Board Member, scheduled a client visit with an employee struggling with a hospitalized child. The drive took 90 minutes.
Empathy creates space for heart-felt conversations.
“…Hershey CEO Michele Buck* lets employees arrive late or leave early to care for their youngsters’ needs…”
Empathy treats people like human beings instead of tools.
Listening:
Motherhood is an opportunity to listen.
“The best bosses lead well by listening well…” Lublin
Alison Rand* developed listening skills while mothering her sixteen-year-old daughter. “I’ve learned that she often just needs me to listen well without the intent of providing a solution.”
You infuse value into others when you listen.
- Provide opportunity for people to hear their own voice.
- Listen to ask a question, not make a statement.
- Relax when you listen. Slow your breathing and lift your eyebrows.
- Explain time limits before you begin.
Think of listening as an Olympic event. The only way to get the Gold is to go all-in.
“Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you.” Alan Alda
89% believe working mothers in leadership roles bring out the best in employees. MFI
How might motherhood make women better leaders?
* = material from, “Power Moms,” by Joann Lublin
This post is based on my conversation with Joann Lublin. I found Power Moms to be practical and filled with heart.
Joann is the former management news editor for the Wall Street Journal. She also was it’s career advice columnist for 30 years and shared the Journal’s Pulitzer Prize for stories about corporate scandals.
Having witnessed what “Joann Lublin” says is so true, Multi-tasking, Delegating, empathy, teaching, caring the list goes on and on. So the developmental curve is before us she is guiding the way. Being blessed with 2 daughters and a hardworking wife surely opened my eyes to the trails and tribulations of what Mothers go through, not to mention I had 3 younger siblings growing up, to change the cloth diapers was a real education in my lifetime. Because Mom delegated…..
Thanks Tim. It’s encouraging to read your comment this morning. Sound’s like you learned teamwork at a young age!
Joann makes many great points. But, I do think they also apply to fathers.
Here is another good article on how being a working mom can help you be a better leader.
https://www.thefemalelead.com/post/how-being-a-working-mother-made-me-a-better-leader
The difference is that the assumptions about mothers are (a) they have no interest in their careers after they have families and (b) they lose their work skills when they are home with their children. Neither of those applies to fathers. So it is important to show how the same skills a mother needs to raise a family are needed in the work place.
Jennifer,
You made some good points.
My daughter is a VP at a software company. And the mother of three boys (13, 8 and 5). I think when she is at home with her boys she’s sharpening her management and leadership skills.
Those assumptions are wrong, and I’m glad they are being challenged. The different assumptions for fathers are, (a) work still comes first, or you’re not committed, and (b) you have an “understanding spouse.” I heard that more than once before I changed careers.
This is so timely as I prepare for my first baby next week. As it has been getting closer I started to worry how it would affect my job/career. Thanks for this post and taking a little something off of my list to worry about!
A mentor told me, “There are a lot of good things you can do with your life. If you don’t do some of them, others will. If you don’t do other ones, they won’t get done at all.” I talked to another mentor about how he was doing as a dad. “I have an understanding spouse.” Another said, “I’m lucky. I can get by on four hours of sleep.” Terri, I hope times have changed enough in your line of work. If not, you have a hard choice. An unfair choice, and a stupid choice, and a hard one. I hope your line of work believes people like Dan’s guest today.
Makes perfect sense. What do you think of this more general principle? “Leaders’ experiences outside of work make them better leaders, especially when those experiences develop leaders in ways that work needs, but that work doesn’t value or cultivate?”
I’ve been rereading your post and delving into the links to understand and dissipate the rising sense of anger I felt. I have no single conclusion beyond a gut reaction that no man would be held up for comparison to perceived mind & body successes & improvements through fatherhood.
The implication is that there are skills only available to women through becoming a mother. And that is poppycock. Travis Bradbury’s 90% top performers with high EQ are likely predominantly men and they didn’t learn it through motherhood. I can appreciate a honing of skills, new kit in the ‘tool box’, expanded capabilities. These are all options available to non-mothers (and non-fathers). It seems parent-hood is a prompt, a forceful prompt. We all have our own prompts…which of them is forceful enough to bring about change? Paul BT’s link was very interesting.
One doesn’t need to be a mum to be flexible & supportive of mothers as employees, to listen to worries, fears and celebrate successes or acknowledge and be fine with a team member leaving early due to a child being rushed to hospital.
Thank you for today’s post which helped me recognize and challenge my belief that childless women are even further down the pecking order than mothers and men!