How to Stumble Toward Wisdom and Find Success
We stumble toward wisdom all our lives, but some die a fool’s death.
Wisdom thrives regardless of circumstances.
How to stumble toward wisdom:
The influence of wise leaders helps us stumble toward wisdom.
Wisdom is social before it’s intellectual.
I’ve noticed three things about wise leaders.
#1. Enjoyment:
The most surprising thing I notice about wise leaders is enjoyment. Nagging sadness and recurring anger speak to foolishness.
Wise leaders choose enjoyment that doesn’t include regret.
Fools choose happiness that eventually produces misery. Think of enjoyment produced by over-work, too much alcohol, or advantaging yourself at the expense of others.
The danger of stupidity is it works at first.
3 ways to stumble toward enjoyment:
- Think less about the future and more about the present.
- Don’t compare today with the past.
- Reflect on stories, both yours and theirs.
The secret to enjoyment is being present.
Vision for the future beats you down when it’s more than a compass.
#2. Liking:
Wise leaders like people. Haters are fools.
Wisdom sees opportunity where fools see threat.
3 ways to stumble toward liking:
- Focus on liking, not being liked. The need to be liked leads to enjoyment with regret.
- Accept frailty. Everyone has weakness and frailty. Your job is to maximize strength and compensate for weakness. (Some people should be managed out.)
- Spend more time encouraging high performers. Most leaders spend too much time trying to fix low performers. (A savior complex brings enjoyment with regret.)
#3. Gentleness:
The wisest leaders I know are also the gentlest. Bravado is bullshit.
Harshness produces results with regret.
3 ways to stumble toward gentleness:
- Think of words as hammers.
- Listen and speak as if everyone around you is an 8-year-old kid.
- Practice curiosity.
Gentleness in you enables boldness in others, but never think of gentleness as weakness. Be tough and gentle.
The path to success is the pursuit of wisdom.
What do you notice about wise leaders? Foolish leaders?
Bonus material:
How to be a SAGE without being a Snob | Leadership Freak
Another home run. Thank you for helping me lead better.
Sincerely,
Still Stumbling
Thanks ednbeth! Glad to be a stumbler with you.
Someone once said, “Don’t mistake kindness for weakness!”
Thanks John. It’s easy to forget or feel intimidated by bravado or harshness.
“The path to success is the pursuit of wisdom.” So how come so many are just too lazy to engage in that pursuit. Read, talk, listen, work, attempt, learn from mistakes, keep moving forward. Brush, rinse, spit out and repeat. It’s not that difficult and it sometimes is fun.
Thanks Roger. I wonder if one reason the path to wisdom is neglected has to do with the seduction of easy/quick answers?
Dan: Yep that’s it, the easy way out quickly and move on instead of engaging and getting down in the mud to battle out life. The lazy way out is so much easier.
Easier in the short-term at least.
What do you notice about wise leaders? Foolish leaders?
Wise leaders have a genuine interest in others and are eager to learn. The timeless “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is a book that we should revisit often.
Foolish leaders worry about being liked and make decisions from their ego.
We can always find peace, pleasure and joy in what we do – we just have to make the effort.
Thanks Joseph. I’ve thinking about and the need to be liked. It’s not that wisdom doesn’t enjoy being liked. I think it’s about the focus on self vs others, as you indicate.
This is another great post. One that speaks to me and gives me confidence that I’m on the right path to great leadership with no regrets. Thank you for your insightfulness.
You’re getting me in my feels again, Dan! #2 on liking not being liked especially hits home. Find myself in competition rather than cooperation with coworkers.
Point 2 in the section on Liking really spoke to me. Working with strengths and accepting frailties. Everyone comes with both, including the leaders of an organization. I think you need to look at your own strengths and frailties in the scheme of your organization. And like yourself as well. A thought.
What I notice about wise leaders is that they know how to speak when it is necessary and not just speak to have someone listen to them as a foolish leader will. A wise leader enables questions from their members and allows for individual thinking as opposed to following a strict set of rules that can not be questioned.
Thanks Adam. The ratio of talking to listening is important and often difficult to navigate. This is especially true when you have position or authority.
“enabling questions”… what a great skill.