Visiting a Friend for the Last Time
Note: Cy passed away May 19, 2021.
We’re on our way to visit a friend for the last time. He’s dying. But he’s in surprisingly good health, except that Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis is taking his life. Scarring in his lungs is slowly eliminating his ability to absorb oxygen.
It’s unpredictable but he’s been going down fast over the last few weeks.
The things that matter more than experience and circumstance are the people who go through them with you. That’s why we’re on our way to visit Cy. He’s one of those friends who lashes himself to the mast and endures the storm.
Many jump ship in turbulence. But a few stay. Cy did that for me.
He stood with me. I want to spend an afternoon standing with him. So after receiving a note from his wife, we’re making an unplanned trip to Maine.
Everyone needs a with.
You might get weary of standing with people who might not return your faithfulness. Don’t allow cynicism to contaminate faithfulness. Stand with people even if many in the past have jumped ship.
Some of your proudest moments will be standing with someone when it would have been easier to navigate for smoother seas.
When you look back on your life, who stood with you?
When you look around today, how will you stand with people?
NOTE: Cy passed away on May 18, 2021.
Dan, I wish you well in your trip to stand with your friend fir the last time. It’s a rare and generous gift we can give each other to be upstanding for all the values and principles that brought us together in the first place.
There is no greater love
This is so important, especially right now. I lost the love of my life to COVID in Dec. Not being able to be with him as he had to endure this alone has been a real struggle for me. I find myself in very dark times when I think about it. Although it was hospital rules that prevented me from being there, I cant help but think of how it could have been different had we been allowed to be there. I cannot fathom the thoughts that go through someone’s mind in that time.
Prayers for your friend, family and you. Thank you for being that guy.
Sharon, I lost my life love last February. Grieve is such a difficult sea to navigate. Best wishes on your journey. Look online for the Widows Connection. Great support group. Read W. Phillip Keller’s A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23. Profound truths that have helped me greatly.
Love this. Relationships are what matter.
There are few gifts greater than loyalty and steadfast friendship in times of need and uncertainty. It is good to see that you are one of those guys. Best wishes for safe travels to be there for your friend.
It is rare these days to go visit those in their final hours and phases. There are some who go with joy and hearts filled with hope and some we only have a moment to share that joy and hope in their last moments. Godspeed my friend.
Dan,
Thank you for being there for Cy. Our priorities matter. Greatly.
Sharon,
I feel for you in this time of sorrow. I pray that you find deep hope in this dark time.
Bob
Dan, you are a gift to many people – thank you for sharing this post.
Impactful post. As someone who had to do long distance travel (24hrs plus) to be with respective parents as they succumbed to their respective illnesses, I carry the weight of not making it back in time for my father. It still breaks my heart 5 years later. For my mother, I did make it back and spent the last 5 days with her. COVID continues to keep us all separated across large distances. Strength to you and Cy’s family.
Such a fantastic reminder that, in the end and all throughout, what really matters are those we journey with. Beautiful tribute to your friend as well. Thank you for sharing this.
Dan,
Our prayers are with Cy and his family.
Having a similar circumstance last month I feel your pain, going through life with people we hold near our hearts surely can be testing at times of our faith and values. Cherish those moments. I can tell you what was nice is seeing as all of those people come together for the passing of our dear friend, and co-worker for many years.
Such a powerful blessed gift to stand shoulder to shoulder with those who are leaving this world behind as we know it. Thinking of yous xx
Preached on the book of Ruth this past weekend for Mother’s Day. Was blown away by her faith & resilience even in her own grief to stay with Naomi.
Praying for Gods peace for you all as you make the trip to Maine. Have no doubt the Lord will work through standing with your friend.
Such a powerful blessed gift to stand shoulder to shoulder with someone who is leaving this world behind as we know it and those who are trying to let them go. Thinking of yous. x
Thanks for sharing this, Dan. Powerful. I am sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.
Welcome home if even for a brief time. My thoughts and feelings will be with you today as I treasure your work and share it with everyone that my wife and I encounter in our consulting work.
That’s a great post Dan, and my heart reaches out in your sorrow, knowing Cy’s time is short.
We raised our kids with a few tidy sayings they could hold to, one was “visit the living.” Your behavior aligns well with this.
God bless your noble journey, it will be heartbreaking and rewarding, I pray God meets you with peace and comfort.
Wow, what a powerful message! Condolences to you and the family.
Dan, this is one of your shortest messages but also one of your most powerful ones. Thank you for sharing this important reminder for all of us. My favorite leadership saying is “It’s All About Relationships.” That applies to how we lead ourselves and how we lead others. Your story and your love for Cy is a bittersweet reminder that life is short and we must focus on what is most important. Your story is a good reminder that at the end of your journeys, the people gathered around our bed will not be our work colleagues or our managers. It will be our family members and dea5rest friends.
My deepest sympathies are with you. May you find peace in the continued memories of your special friendship.
My father passed away from Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. Initial prognosis was 1-3 years, he lasted 8 years. I had the honor of standing with him in his final days. As a son, I failed him many times and yet he stood with me. Dan, thanks for sharing a great lesson and insightful questions.
Powerful. Thank you
Dan, Very timely post for me. I am standing with my wife who is suffering from IRVAN Syndrome, which is resulting in a significant loss of vision. On top of that, she fell and badly broke her ankle, which required surgery. I intend to stay on the ship through the turbulence.
I have had the unfortunate blessing of being with my father when he passed. I was in the hospital room and watched as they worked on him. I watched as my father fought hard even to the point of telling the hospital staff to get off his chest.
nothing makes life decisions clearer and less important then watching someone you love fight for their lives. cherish they time you have with those that offer important milestones in your life.
I am so sorry to hear about your friend. It takes a lot to “stand with” but you will never feel sorry that you did so. Safe travels to you both. Thank you for sharing this powerful and very personal post.
Dan you are a gift and loved by many. Thank you for this reminder and for being with and for your friends..how lucky they are to have you.
My heart goes out to you and your friend…and what a gift you are to your friend. My husband reminds me frequently of the importance of showing up for people and thank you for reminding me again. You are a wonderful example. Safe travels.
My brother passed away and we were by his side at home. One of the hardest and most meaningful times in my life. You are in my thoughts
So well said. We must love others. Sometimes, it is just being there.