3 Questions that Resolve Stress Quickly
#1. The worst question:
For some reason, when I ask, “What’s the worst that could happen?” stress loses some of its bite.
You’re stressed about traffic, for example. What’s the worst that could happen? You’re late. You feel embarrassed. Maybe you lose a contract. But life goes on.
If stress goes up when you ask, “What’s the worst that could happen?” it’s time to change something.
Note: If the worst that could happen is life-threatening, then you should probably feel stress.
#2. The action question:
“What would you like to do about that?”
Sometimes you’re stressed, but you don’t really want to do anything about it. If that’s the case, the answer to stress is three words. Let it go.
If you’re wondering about letting something go, seek wisdom from higher ups.
Letting go is an iterative process. You let something go but it crawls back through an opened window. Simply repeat the process of letting it go when that happens.
Blow on your fingers and open your hand like releasing a butterfly. Whoosh, let it go.
If you want to do something about a stressor:
- Record a list of five simple things you can do today. Choose one and do it before lunch.
- Talk the situation over with a mentor, coach, or trusted friend.
- Avoid the tendency to expect others to solve your stress. That’s stressful.
#3. The perspective question:
“How much does this matter?”
Small issues seem ginormous through the lens of stress.
Tip: Small issues appear bigger than they really are when you look at them through tired eyes. Give yourself a break.
When small issues take up too much room in your life, reconnect with friends. Two or three strong relationships are light in the dark and gas in the tank.
What questions might resolve stress?
What, from your point of view, exacerbates stress?
What questions might resolve stress? as you posted “What is the worst that can happen”? The rationaliazation that everything is so important is redicoulous. Surely in a life or die siyuation Stress is understood. We as humans tend to make “mountains out of mole hills’. You nailed it with “just let it be”. Learn to seek other methods to relieve our stress. We have hit these items before, Mediation, soothing music, get up go for walk. learn the signs of Burn out stress and get help if it requires medical care.
What, from your point of view, exacerbates stress? The human sense that everything is “live or die”. Understand not everything is critical, we or others just seem to make it critical.
Thanks Tim. “Understand not everything is critical…” I know that a little perspective helps me.
My mom taught me that if you can do something about an issue/problem/stressor, then do it; if you can’t do anything about an issue/problem/stressor, then let it go because you can’t change it and all things fall into one of these categories. Following the words of this beyond wise woman has helped me substantially reduce the stress in my life.
Thanks Laurie. And thanks to your wise mom. Now to put her wisdom into practice.
Who can I delegate this task to?
What would happen if this task wasn’t done?
Who owns this task or problem?
What can I eliminate from my to do list?
What meetings can be eliminated or cut in half?
Thanks Paul. So great. My favorite, “What would happen if this task wasn’t done?”
I suspect that nearly everyone needs methods to reduce stress in all areas of life. It may be part of the perspective question, but it’s worth adding a relevance question. We often experience stress when we try to control what we can’t control as the serenity prayer suggests. Perhaps, we should ask , “Des this matter relate to me in a way that demands my action or attention?”
Thanks Paul. The addition of demands my action or attention seems important. When I add those words there is a sense of taking responsibility and that’s a good thing.
A question I’m starting to add to my arsenal is: Is this my problem to solve? So often, we take on others’ problems to be helpful, to make sure it gets resolved correctly, or because that’s our default mode. Timely post for me, Dan
Thanks Susan. Great question….love the verbiage.. “Is the my problem to solve?”
Great post for me. I’m at a point of rethinking several of my current commitments and this perspective of stress helps me be more clear. Thanks also to the commenters today. I always learn from the gems left in the responses.
Thanks Jenny. I’m with you on the comments. I almost always gain insight from the comments on these posts.
Rethinking commitments is a powerful activity that requires courage and self-knowledge. Best wishes.
Letting things go has always been a challenge for me! A thing much needed to be heard today! Thanks Dan!
True for so many of us, butcher. Best wishes.
Thanks Dan!
Great post. Your point about perspective rings true. Stepping back and thinking about the impact of the stressors helps minimize many stressors. Thanks Dan
Another possibility. If you do all these things, and your feelings and rumination are still disproportionate and persistent for weeks or months, maybe your brain is misfiring chemically. Talk to your doctor.
Thanks Robert. Great advice. It makes sense to make room for physical issues.
Hi Dan, a great tool to help approach stress. One of the most common sources of stress for my team and I is meeting overload, and we’ve implemented a practice of scheduling standard recurring meetings with stakeholders that we work with consistently on different issues. So when a new topic comes up and meeting time is needed, we ask “Can this go on the standard meeting agenda?” 90% of the time the answer is yes, and that helps clear space on the calendar.
Thanks Joseph. Brilliant. Anything that creates a measure of predictability and efficiency is a good thing. It occurs to me that predictability is a component of efficiency. hmmm…