What’s More Important to Success than Leadership Skills
You’re a colossal screw-up if you believe success hinges on skills. It doesn’t matter how skilled you are at delegating, for example, if you’re a dishonest jerk-hole.
Hitler was an exceptional communicator.
Skills are the simplest component of successful leadership.
4 areas high-impact leaders develop:
- Relationships
- Character
- Beliefs
- Skills
Relationships:
“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” Anonymous
Of all the areas leaders neglect, relationship-building is the easiest.
5 reasons leaders neglect relationship-building:
- Perceived brilliance. If you weren’t so dang smart, you would realize the value of relationships.
- Time pressure. Who has time for conversations over coffee?
- Short-sightedness. You wrongly believe you can handle any new challenges on your own.
- Better skills. Persistent failures still believe their way is THE right way.
- Natural inclinations. Of all the people who could expand their potential with relationship-building, introverts top the list.
Shapers:
Who is shaping your life?
Pity the fool who is too busy shaping people to be shaped by others.
Project: Make a list of important people in your life. How might you invite them in? How might they shape you? What might you learn from them?
Letting people shape you enhances your ability to shape others.
Potters:
Potters add to your life.
Someone with skills and experience far beyond yours is going to knock on your door. Invite them in.
They’re going to say something that seems stupid. That’s the thing you need to dig into.
Adopt some of their practices, especially if those practices feel uncomfortable. (Don’t do something that causes harm.)
Sculptor:
Stopping is harder than starting.
Someone is going to enter your life to help you cut away worn-out strategies and self-sabotage. You’re going to think they’re wrong. Give their suggestion a test run.
Surprising beauty emerges after a sculptor’s work is done.
What helps leaders build great relationships?
What relationships have helped you lead more effectively?
This is really timely Dan. I’m taking a new leadership position next week. I don’t know, what I don’t know. I welcome a way to change worn-out strategies and self-sabotage. My first strategy will be to build new relationships with the new management team. Lean in to employees and listen. I have a coach from the BetterUp program and we’re discussing goals. These are my first two. Have a great weekend Dan!
Thanks for dropping in today, yanir. Congratulations on the new position. It looks like you’re off to a great beginning. I wish you well.
BTW… I believe in coaching. I have a coach and I am a coach.
Potters & Sculptors, wow. Great analogies. Thank you, Dan. So I ask, who has those roles in my life?
Thanks Pete. When I think about the potters and sculptors in my life I think about my coach and many of the people I coach. There are also some long-term relationships that continue to shape me. I think one factor is looking for that to happen.
What helps leaders build great relationships?
-Being open and curious (asking questions)
-Having a growth mind-set (what can I learn)
-Listening–giving your undivided attention
-Showing respect
-Sharing your ideas and feelings
-Eating together
-Having celebrations
Dan
You are in good company again as Machiavelli said you can judge the intelligence of a ruler by those he surrounds himself with.
Brad
Hey, Dan, was it Mr. T who said “I pity the fool who is too busy shaping people to be shaped by others”? (No reply necessary.) Good post. Thanks.
Haha…. I borrowed “Pity the fool,” from Mr T.! So glad you noticed. 🙂
You never know what you don’t know until you need to know it:)
Hi Dan, sometimes leaders only build relationships with other leaders. It doesn’t occur to build relationships with those they lead. This leads to an “us and them” mindset that misses opportunities for the team to contribute beyond their job description. Eg A church leader only asking other leaders why more parishioners don’t volunteer or a manager asking another manager how to improve line efficiency without talking to those working the line.