The 4 Secrets of Graceful Leadership That Propel You to the Next Level
Passive patience disappoints. Grace sweetens bitter.
Patience with people is:
- Accepting slower than expected progress.
- Withholding negative consequences for disappointing performance.
- Making room to learn from mistakes.
- Allowing poor performance with the view of improvement and growth.
- Realizing that everyone isn’t good at everything. Exploring reassignment or job crafting.
- Permitting time for people to find their greatest contribution.
John Baldoni writes that grace, “… is the disposition to do something more for others.” He goes on, “Grace is the essence of life that enables us to see the world not simply as a place for us but rather a place for all of us.”
4 Secrets of graceful leadership:
#1. Grace is more than patience:
5 ways grace exceeds patience.
- Patience withholds. Grace gives.
- Patience permits. Grace provides.
- Patience tolerates. Grace innovates.
- Patience is restraint. Grace is intervention.
- Patience is reactive. Grace is proactive.
#2. Grace is about the giver.
Do the graceful thing because it’s who you are, not for benefits you might receive. However, in a world of limited time and growing opportunity, focus grace – when possible – on responsive people. (Read, Give and Take, by Adam Grant)
An open heart takes you further than a clenched fist.
#3. Grace doesn’t obligate.
Generosity with strings is manipulation. Kindness that imposes obligation is barter.
Seek the best for others. Appreciation may return to you. It may not.
Think of grace as a gift. Grace that focuses on response from recipients ends up frustrated and disappointed.
Employee turn-over is one area where leaders learn to be graceful. You pour into someone who leaves. Now what? Grace keeps pouring out after disappointment.
#4. Grace corrects.
The point of graceful correction is improvement, not punishment. Consequences co-exist with grace. “You fell short. How can I help?”
Grace is the context of high performance, not the endorsement of incompetence.
What does graceful leadership look like from your perspective?
Grace as a verb …
bring honour or credit to (someone or something) by one’s attendance or participation.
Doing so without expectation or requirement for self. Helping others be the best they can be, whatever that may be, without fear for self (they surpass you) or requirement for payback.
Thanks Rob. “Grace is a verb.” What a great challenge. There’s action or there’s platitude. Have a great week.
5 ways grace exceeds patience.
Patience withholds. Grace gives.
Patience permits. Grace provides.
Patience tolerates. Grace innovates.
Patience is restraint. Grace is intervention.
Patience is reactive. Grace is proactive
Excellent discussion and this to me shows why “grace” just might be harder to accomplish than patience.
Thanks Roger. You’re right on target. It’s one thing to NOT DO something. It’s another to actually DO something. Patience might be the beginning of grace, but moving from patience to grace takes us to another dimension.
“An open heart takes you further than a clenched fist.” So very true. Love and respect all of your Team and you and your Team will have outstanding success!
Thanks Sam. Now if we can just have the courage to unclench. 🙂
As a part-time teacher this post makes me wonder, what does it mean to be a graceful teacher and especially a graceful grader? How do I make my classroom a place marked by grace, not merely patience? This is a great question: “You fell short. How can I help?” – thank you! And as a full-time pastor, I needed this reminder: “You pour into someone who leaves. Now what? Grace keeps pouring out after disappointment.” Wow. Key here is attending to the well of grace, to be sure it never runs dry. Reminding myself I also need grace!
Thanks Pete. Your comment reminded me that we cannot pour out more than we pour in. Time filling our own cup is meaningful because we have something to give others. Cheers.
Thank you very much. Indeed this was a slap in the face for my ego. Have to start by figuering out when I still do something for the return.
Thanks Dirk. I think that’s a life-long process. 🙂
For me, “graceful leadership” is of course selfless, as is all true leadership, but transcends selflessness to extend “unwarranted favor” -unwarranted if you took an ironclad approach to applying established measurements of performance, progress, and versatility- to develop the capabilities of people who perhaps aren’t where they should be along the development path, but seem to have the will and potential to get there given a little more time and attention. The opposite of graceful leadership, again just my opinion, is fault-finding and punitive, a “fish-or-cut-bait” approach to developing and evaluating people. “The hangings will continue until morale improves” sort of leadership style. Your mileage may vary!
I deeply appreciate your “Grace doesn’t obligate” section — extending grace to get/expect something in return isn’t grace at all.
Such a thoughtful piece today, Dan! Thanks so much for this!
Wow this is great and would like to align my leadership style with this.