4 Ways Managers Screwup One-On-Ones
A simple thing that’s made complex disappoints and drains.
4 ways to screwup one-on-ones:
#1. Leave them to the last minute.
People feel valued when you prioritize time with them. Rushing around at the last minute to spend a few minutes with a person leaves a bad taste in their mouth.
#2. Focus exclusively on the work.
Work matters but there is no work without people.
The #1 thing employees ask is, “Does my employer care about me?” (Gallup)
#3. Act professional.
Connect with people.
When professionalism creates distance, it’s a hinderance.
#4. Hog the time.
Listening tells people they matter. Let others do most of the talking.
Useful one-on-ones are:
#1. Employee driven:
You are there for them. They aren’t there for you.
Let people know it’s their meeting, not your meeting.
Don’t let pressing issues distract you from their development time. There are always pressing issues.
#2. Focused:
Prepare people for the first question you’ll ask by sending a note.
Send an email that enables focus. You might say, “I plan to ask this question during our one-on-one.”
- What’s on your agenda for our meeting today?
- What area of personal development would you like to focus on?
- What results would you like to get from our conversation?
- What would make this a great conversation for you?
#3. Personal:
A good relationship with the boss makes retention more likely and work more enjoyable.
Listen to stories. What happened over the weekend? What’s going on with the kids?
Share a story about your weekend or a recent experience.
Two goals of one-on-ones:
#1. Help employees develop. How do they want to develop and how might you contribute?
#2. Peak performance. Remember. Performance comes from strength, not weakness.
How do managers screwup one-on-ones?
Complete this sentence: Great one-on-ones are…
Bonus material: Get Better at One-on-One Meetings – HBR Video
Just thinking. Change the name by asking the employees what to call the meeting. In the lexicon one on one is a competitive thing (think basketball). Change the name to a cooperative session. Change the name change the perspective change the expectations and results.
Thanks Bushee. That’s a wonderful observation. When I send invitations to my coaching calls, I use the term conversation because that’s what I want to happen. I might add forward-facing conversation.
Great one on ones are engaging
Bingo! Thanks for jumping in, Ibukun.
How about via email?
Yeah, that really happens here.
Ugh! That feels degrading. Glad you added that idea, Ken.
Hi Dan,
I dislike these meetings as they are usually conducted, and as a way to show we care feel they are pretty low-calorie. We cannot say ‘it’s your meeting’ while ignoring the fact that many employees would oh-so-much-rather-not attend a meeting that they didn’t ask for, with no agenda, that becomes their show once the initial ” So…. is everything OK?” has been uttered. Better to focus more frequently on employee-centered specific matter, such as travel schedule, budget, training etc., and prepare to coax other topics out. My two cents. Cheers !
Glad you contributed today, Cate. The challenge of relationship building between boss and employee makes one-on-ones intimidating.
Some of the assumptions behind today’s post include a good relationship where interactions between boss and employee are normal. Infrequent contact makes one-on-ones stressful.
Another contributor to success is having discussions with everyone about the goal and value of one-on-ones.
I was always of the persuasion that I didn’t want to see my boss. I think that held me back. When we think our boss is actually pulling for us some of the stress goes down.
“Coaxing other topics out,” is wonderfully stated.
I created a discussion planner for my team asking them questions about their perceived level of productivity (primarily to catch anyone who feels like they are hitting continuous roadblocks or a personal issue that might not come up elsewhere in conversation), their accomplishments since the last meeting, what challenges they are experiencing, what they’ve learned since the last meeting, their goals for the next two weeks, and “anything else.” I ask them to send me their planner the day before the meeting to give me time to review. We don’t always get to everything on the list, but I ask, “I’ve read through your notes. What is the most important thing you’d like to talk about?” If we need to plan more time, then we do. It generally works for my team. It helps solidify the fact that the meeting is theirs, yet gives them a framework to prepare for it.
That’s brilliant Heather. Preparation lowers anxiety and accelerates productivity.
This is interesting and makes me want to restart these meetings. I have found them to be not productive in the past since we do a daily touch base, but perhaps a quarterly or monthly scheduled meeting would allow a deeper dive.
Managers screw up one on ones being managers.
Great one on ones don’t feel like one on one’s. I don’t know anyone who likes being managed, I know lots of people who enjoy being recognised, valued, heard and helped to manage the day to day tasks of the business. Even if that means helping them to leave because the role hasn’t met their expectation.
Complete this sentence: Great one-on-ones are…
A contradiction in terms. An oxymoron.
A manager spends 364 days per year keeping any kind of personal involvement out the picture. On this one day, they’re interested in your weekend. Does this reassure you and create comfort and report, or does it set off every alarm in your head and put you into full-tilt fight or fright mode?
Always a delight, Mitch. Happy Friday.
As leaders need to look past the mandatory yearly one-on-ones. When I send invites out for these meetings, and I do them more than once a year – I shoot for quarterly, I send them with a short list of topics then finish by adding: “Any other topics you want to discuss since this is your meeting.” Laying something like that up front can help folks feel more comfortable coming to chat.
I also make it a point to walk to them to chat with them about any questions I may have. Sets a tone that you are interested in them and their work, leading to them being more open in these sessions.
When you make time for your loved ones, they feel appreciated. To a person, rushing to meet up with them at the last minute leaves a terrible taste in their mouth. Focus solely on the task at hand.Work is important, but without people, there would be no work. Make a good impression.
Connect with others and make new friends. A barrier is created when professionalism establishes a gap. CBD oil for sale
Thank you for reporting this issue, When you make time for your loved ones, they feel appreciated. To a person, rushing to meet up with them at the last minute leaves a terrible taste in their mouth. Focus solely on the task at hand.Work is important, but without people, there would be no work. Make a good impression.
Connect with others and make new friends. A barrier is created when professionalism
establishes a gap. CBD oil for sale
GOOD WORK
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Fantastic insights on Leadership Freak about the common pitfalls in one-on-one meetings. A must-read for managers aiming to enhance communication and connection with their team. Practical advice that hits the mark.
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