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Honor opens the door to influence

While sitting in the reception area I wondered what Scott would be like. “Scott” is a business and community leader and the first LF subscriber I’ve met face to face. After a hand shake we made our way to a second floor conference room and engaged in a lively two hour conversation. Time flew. I learned, shared, listened and grew. It was a great experience.

During our talk, I was reminded that leadership is influence and influence is freely received not expected, required, or demanded.

How is the right of influence earned?

Extending honor opens the door to influence.

Even though we hadn’t had time to decide if we liked each other, he expressed respect for the writing I do on LF. He asked where I found the time to write and said he had told others about my blog. I felt humbled and honored.

Extending honor for what I do opened the door to Scott’s influence in my life. I’m not talking about shallow compliments and manipulation. And I’m not saying he respected me as a person. He simply honored what I do. He opened the door to influence.

Here’s one way Scott influenced me.  During our conversation, he showed me three diagrams that illustrate relational dynamics. They stick in my mind. I’ve already shared them with my wife. Scott taught me.

If you want to lead others, don’t pressure them,
honor them. Don’t demand influence, extend respect.

It turns out that Scott and I connected on several levels. We’ll get together again. I’ll listen and learn again. He opened the door to influence by extending  honor.


Have you seen this principle working? How do you open the door of influence?


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Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

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