Leaders feel lonely.
Relationship boundaries stretch and occasionally break. In addition, change, innovation, or new initiatives may cause loyalties to evaporate.
If you’ve never experienced the loneliness of leadership, I wonder if you’ve ever led. But, persistent leadership-loneliness is self-inflicted.
12 Reasons you’re a lonely leader
- Going too far too fast
- Waiting for people to appreciate you
- Faking who you are
- Shutting others out
- Sharing conclusions rather than processes
- Not building a support network
- Expecting agreement and rejecting dissent
- Believing leaders are omniscient and omnipotent
- Emotionally investing in unexamined ideas
- Using people for selfish reasons
- Not building a culture of ownership
- Investing more in projects and programs than people
Personally
Beyond the list of 12, I feel leadership-loneliness when I feel out of step with others. I find I care about things others don’t care about. I feel most isolated when people I care about make negative assumptions about my motives.
Legitimate reasons
There are legitimate reasons leaders feel lonely. Suffering because you’re keeping a confidence feels lonely. Following a dream that others don’t understand creates distance.
Top 5 cures for leadership-loneliness
- Be who you are – take time to reflect. Faking drains you.
- Listen to dissent and examining your passions early in the process.
- Build a support network.
- Create a culture of ownership.
- Engage others in the process.
Why are leaders lonely?
How can leaders deal with loneliness?