I’ll never forget the day an honest soul said, “I think you like to intimidate people.” I wanted to yell, “No I don’t!”
Stop pretending you’re a pussy cat. You intimidate, even if you don’t intend to.
Successful leaders connect.
You can’t connect with someone you intimidate.
Pussy cats and tigers:
You think you’re a pussy cat. But they think you’re a tiger. You focus on the adjustments you’re making and say, “See how much I adapt to others.” They think about pleasing the boss and meeting expectations.
Intimidation is easy. Connecting, on the other hand, requires wisdom, focus, and humility.
Overcoming unintended intimidation:
- Think of leading as serving.
- Stop saying you’re just one of the boys. Failure to appreciate how others view you is part of the problem.
- Stop congregating in public with other leaders. Walk and talk with “normal” folk. Stop protecting yourself with an entourage.
- Get out more. Isolation is a self-protective excuse. It’s easier for you to stay isolated. Make it normal for people to see the boss.
- Learn how to handle inappropriate topics. “Thanks for bringing that up but I can’t deal with that in public.”
- Reject the pressure to give quick answers to tough questions.
- Show interest and gentle curiosity. But, don’t get too interested. They’ll wonder what you’re after. If you see a picture of the family, ask about it.
- Reach out first. Give yourself extra time when walking from one meeting to another so you can pause and say high.
- Smile for goodness sake. You don’t need to frown to demonstrate importance and power. Just turn the corners of your mouth up. Maintain gravity but frown on frowns.
- Eat in public places. Go to the cafeteria. Constant interruptions are tough but worth it.
You may feel like a pussy cat but they see a tiger.
How can leaders limit unintended intimidation?
