A dissatisfying past produces a dissatisfying future. But, dissatisfaction is just a way of thinking.
7 responses to your past:
- Justify yourself. You were right and they were wrong.
- Assign blame. You failed because someone else screwed up.
- Explain preferred behavior. You wish you would have…
- Justify a dissatisfying present. You struggle with trusting people because someone let you down in the past, for example.
- Reclaim it. You wish things were like they used to be.
- Grow on it.
- Stumble over it.
One thing you can change about your past is the way it impacts you now.
4 things you control about your past:
- The way you judge it.
- The way you let it guide or not guide present decisions.
- The way you welcome or reject it.
- The way it helps or hurts you.
The past changes today.
Getting the most from 5 people in your past:
#1. Lifters:
- Who made you better?
- How did they make you better?
- How would you like to emulate their behaviors?
#2. Jerks:
- Who ticks you off?
- What about them was frustrating?
- What do your frustrations say about you?
#3. Transformers:
- Who made a positive difference in the world?
- How did they make the world better?
- How would you like to emulate their behaviors?
#4. Wasters:
- Who didn’t matter? You forgot them.
- Why did you forget them?
- How can you not be like them?
#5. Hurters:
- Who hurt you?
- What about them was hurtful?
- How are you better because you’ve been hurt?
Reflecting on your journey is navigating the past with tomorrow in mind.
Messages from my past:
- Communicate more.
- Say what you want without defensiveness.
- Remain open to what others want.
- Relax!
- Release people and hold high standards.
- Open up when you feel like closing down.
- Care for people deeply and move forward. Coddling is an excuse for staying the same.
How can leaders best use the past?
What messages come from your past?