Everyone knows what they don’t want.
Who we want to become is nearly unimaginable when “not wanting” dominates our thinking.
Three conversations:
An aspiring leader:
He confessed he steps on people’s toes. That’s a nice way of saying he hurts people.
It’s easy to sacrifice people’s feelings when tasks outweigh people. But, trampling is a short-term strategy that gets you fired.
I asked, “If you weren’t stepping on people’s toes, what would you be like?”
He fumbled for a bit and finally said, “I don’t know.”
I said, “Imagine you did know.”
Still, language failed him.
A friend:
A friend is troubled by his constant striving. Life without striving is unimaginable. But, he also strives for contentment.
I asked, “If you weren’t always striving, what would you be like?”
He said, “It feels like I’d be a failure.”
I asked, “But, what would you be like?”
“I’m not sure.”
Hair dresser:
The woman who cuts my hair wants to stand up for herself. She doesn’t like being a people pleaser.
“If you weren’t a people pleaser, what would you be like?”
She said, “I wouldn’t care what people think.”
She described what she wouldn’t do. Positive language escaped her.
Profound growth:
- Profound growth is, at first, unimaginable.
- Explaining what you don’t want is the easy part.
- Everything begins with imagination.
- Either/or thinking blocks imagination. “If I didn’t constantly strive for more, I’d be a failure.”
- Describe it before you become it. I don’t mean to say that if you describe it, you will become it. But, positive language always precedes positive change. If you can’t imagine it, you can’t become it.
- Behave your way into becoming.
- An imperfect step in a positive direction is always better than circling the darkness.
Everyone knows what they don’t want. Leaders imagine who to become.
What role does imagination play in growth, leadership, or success?