You’re a jerk-leader if you aren’t passionate about developing people.
Develop your coaching skills in order to effectively develop people.
The ten practices of coaching-leaders pt. 2:
#4. Cling to forward-facing curiosity. If you aren’t curious, you can’t coach. Therapists and counselors may dig into the past, but coaches focus primarily on behaviors in the present.
- Coaching concerns itself with present behaviors that produce long-term change. The distant future is a compass, but the only thing that changes the future is what you do today.
- Inquire about the past to help coachees gain perspective on the present.
- Forward-facing curiosity asks about the past to improve the near future.
- What did you do to accomplish your goal?
- How did it work?
- What did you learn?
- What did you learn about yourself?
- What would you like to try next time?
- Practice active listening, but mostly just talk less.
Few things hinder coaching more than trying to change something that can’t be changed like the past, for example.
#5. Engage in calm listening. Inner agitation suggests you’ve stopped listening and started fixing. Radically improve listening by calming your spirit.
- Slow your breathing.
- Transfer ownership of problems and solutions to coachees.
- Remind yourself that the solution they own is better than one you give. (Even if it isn’t quite as good.)
#6. Provide vulnerable reflections. Say things others are afraid to say. Compassionately let coachees know what you and others really see.
- Be willing to compassionately offend in order to address tough issues.
- Reveal your own struggles when it enhances connection and affirms their journey. But remember that coaching is about them, not you. Avoid one-upmanship like bad breath.
- Confess confusion, when you don’t understand something. “You lost me.”
- Make observations about apparent inconsistencies, even if it stings.
Which coaching practice do you find most challenging? How do you address those challenges?
What coaching practices might you add to the list?