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Screw You and Other Moments of Growth

Growth hurts.


#1. Have a screw you attitude. Get up after being kicked to the curb. A screw you attitude is useful when others don’t believe in you. Prove them wrong. Plow forward.

The first danger of a screw you attitude is being a jerk.

The second danger of a screw you attitude is a closed mind. Don’t put your head down and plow forward. Look around. Stay open. Seek feedback.

A screw you attitude provides energy, but not direction.

#2. Define yourself by who you are, not the expectations of others. Anger might help you cast off the expectations of others, but self-awareness shows you where to go.

#3. Interact with people who aren’t like you. You like people who are like you. But the people who are like you seldom fuel change.

Listen to someone who surprises you.

Occasionally, I’m approached by religious groups to speak. Generally, they fit into two buckets. One screens me for what I believe, as if I were going to preach a sermon. The other wants me to talk about leadership, coaching, or management. Guess which ones hire me.

#4. Step into desperation. Say yes to something scary.

Desperation is better than sanctuary.

Friends and family don’t want you to fail. Protection, when it’s coddling, blocks you from your highest potential.

Momma and daddy help you most when they kick your butt out of the nest. Yes, we all need sanctuary. But living there makes us weak.

When support is protection from failure, it’s deadly.

#5. Let your true self be seen. Sparks of transformation ignite when you expose secret aspirations, hidden fears, shameful failures, or seething frustrations. You can’t grow when you’re hiding.

Self-protection is kin to stagnation.

When have you seen the most transformation in your own leadership?

How might you use these ideas to create moments of transformation for others?


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