You can’t control everything, but you can control responses.
Don’t give control to disappointments.
How disappointment controls life:
Disappointment controls life when you say, “I won’t bring my best because I’m disappointed.”
- I’ll be angry – until you appreciate me appropriately.
- I’ll stop complaining – if you show more respect.
- I won’t take responsibility – because you didn’t promote me.
- I’ll practice gratitude – when you stop screwing up.
Gratitude as an example:
Don’t blame others for your ungratefulness. Gratitude is about you.
Practice gratitude even during disappointment. If you don’t, bitterness will wrestle your future away from you.
Gratitude is approval. Ingratitude is disapproval. Can’t you find something to approve?
Disappointment controls you when an employee’s failure – in one area – justifies ingratitude in all areas, for example.
How perfect do things have to be for you to find something to approve?
Tip: Walk around looking for something to approve from 10:00 a.m. to 10:15 a.m. (Start small. Don’t shock your system.)
Respond don’t sacrifice:
Don’t sacrifice your best self on the altar of disappointment or offense.
Respond to disappointments, but don’t sacrifice your vision, values, and goals.
Bring your best self even during disappointment.
How to live up to your aspirations in 4 steps:
Are you living up to your aspirations or down to your disappointments?
- Develop a clear vision of the leader you aspire to become. Use values, strengths, talents, passions, opportunities, and feedback as guides.
- Make daily choices based on who you aspire to become, not negative reactions to disappointments.
- Use disappointments as warning or instruction, not excuse.
- Reflect on your progress at regular intervals.
Disappointment shackles potential when bringing your best self is contingent on everything pleasing you.
How might disappointments shackle a leader’s future?
How might leaders live up to their aspirations instead of down to their disappointments?