“That tuna sandwich looks magnificent,” I told my wife. She laughed. It was a basic tuna on wheat. But I was test driving a crazy idea.
I spoke to her like I speak to our 5-year-old granddaughter. (I know. That sounds strange. But go with me.)
Imagine how you’d talk to a team member if they were one of your children or grandchildren.
A good place:
My mind goes to a good place when I talk with Ellasyn. She’s our granddaughter.
- I’m glad to see her.
- I slow down.
- I give her undivided attention.
- I admire little things.
- I notice how she’s learning and growing.
- I respect her accomplishments.
- I encourage her to try again.
Which items in the above list AREN’T relevant to big people interactions?
Compassion goes up and criticism goes down when you employ child-like communication.
Big person words:
Use big person words but speak to their inner child.
- You must be proud.
- How did you learn how to do that?
- What happened?
- Let’s try again.
Grown-up responsibilities:
Talk to adults like children. But don’t treat adults like children.
Team members have adult skills and big-person responsibilities. They meet grown-up expectations.
It’s a secret:
Don’t tell team members you’re talking to them like children.
I don’t like the thought that I’m being treated like a child. But I confess that on the inside I’m still a kid. I enjoy admiration and love learning.
Key ingredient:
Try this approach only if you respect your team. Condescension is insulting. Manipulation is deadly. Always be sincere and genuine.
I’ve tested this myself with transformative results.
I know this is weird. Would you give this approach a test drive and give me feedback?
Communicating with a child-like approach elevates leadership effectiveness.
What shifts in your thinking when you choose to talk with team members as if they were a child or grandchild?
Added resources:
How to Talk to Your Child: The Best Strategies for Effective Communication – YouTube