Learn how to do one-on-ones well or find a career where you can work alone.
Strong relationships fuel great results.
5 reasons to stop having one-on-ones:
#1. Don’t have one-on-ones if you’re a fault-finding nitpicker.
No one wants to be around fault-finding nitpickers. People are better off without you. Close your office door. Don’t attend zoom meetings.
Orientation is the difference between fault-finding and improvement. Improvement is forward-facing and joyful. Fault-finding is backward-facing and dreadful.
#2. Don’t have one-on-ones if you’re driven by fear.
Fearful leaders give birth to paralyzed teams. Fear might motivate but it also exhausts.
Focus on small improvements in the near-term if you’re a fearful leader.
Imagined problems in the distant future paralyze progress in the near future.
#3. Don’t have one-on-ones if you neglect opportunities.
Wallowing in problems exhausts everyone, but opportunity driven leaders ignite energy.
Turn problem-centric conversations toward the future by asking, “What opportunities do you see here?”
#4. Don’t have one-on-ones if you don’t like people.
You’re a hater if people have to do everything right before you enjoy having them on the team.
List three to five things you like about your team member before your one-on-one. Do this especially if you have to correct them.
#5. Don’t have one-on-ones if you’re a blabbermouth.
Blabbermouths drain power from team members.
Powerless people never achieve radical results.
- Prepare people to talk during one-on-ones by sending questions to discuss in advance. Better yet, craft the agenda together.
- Establish a culture where employees control most of the agenda during one-on-ones. “This is your meeting.”
- Don’t interrupt. Slow your breathing. Lean back. Raise your eyebrows.
- Count to three after someone finishes speaking. You’ll be surprised what people say if you make space for them to talk.
- Ask, “And what else?”
Tip: Say, “Let’s take a walk,” when someone shows up for their next one-on-one.
What makes one-on-ones suck?
What makes a one-on-one energizing instead of draining?