Nothing rouses me to determined resolve like the catastrophe of a fly in the house. I stalk from room to room crouching – whacker at the ready.
You know you’re rich beyond belief when the day’s biggest irritation is a musca domesticain buzzing in the kitchen.
We recently bought a four-pack of fly whackers. (Another sign of wealth.) You can’t have too many implements of execution for flying rodents. One waits in the kitchen, and one is at the ready in my office. Two spares in the closet provide peace of mind. Sometimes I take a spare whacker on the back deck to prove my prowess by assassinating foolhardy antagonists.
A fly’s legacy is the stain it leaves when you kill it. I tried to prevent their legacy with gentle whacking, but I usually just stunned them. They shook it off, laughed, and flew away.
The only thing more infuriating than a fly in the house is feeling them laugh after escaping the fly whacker. It emboldens them.
Life truth: A dead fly’s legacy is less infuriating than a living fly’s buzz.
I’m proud to say that I’ve knocked flies out of the air with my fly whacker. I flail at them like I’m caught in a swarm of hornets. Kapow! Then I leap on them before they get away. I feel like a man when I knock a fly out of the air and kill it.
Killing flies is like meditation – I wouldn’t know if the house was burning down. Nothing is more satisfying than outsmarting a fly.
Small irritations become big distractions. Or, maybe they bring out our best.
What small irritation might you solve quickly today?
What small irritation should you let go?