You accidentally crowd into the wrong lane because mirrors have blind spots. Offended drivers scare the crap out of you when they blare their horns. First, you’re scared, then you’re mad!
It bugs you when someone brings up your blind spots.
Like mirrors, you have blind spots.
Self-perception is fuzzy.
People see things in you that you don’t or won’t see in yourself.
4 sources of blind spots:
#1. Over-using positive traits.
My ability to bring up difficult topics is a gift when used sparingly. It’s tiresome in every conversation.
- Focus becomes, “You’re so intense.”
- Curiosity becomes, “Don’t be so pushy.”
- Confidence becomes, “You’re arrogant.’
- Adapting becomes, “Make up your mind!”
- Listening becomes, “You never give direction.”
“Being pushy isn’t that bad. I’m just getting things done.”
You judge yourself by good intentions. Others judge you by your behaviors.
Confidence with ignorance leads to destruction.
You think you can do things you can’t. When I walk into the kitchen and tell my wife how to cook, it’s over-confidence.
#4. Past success.
It worked in the past. It will keep working, even if there is some fallout.
A blind spot obstructs our highest potential.
5 ways to spot common blind spots:
#1. Notice irritating feedback.
Remember this one, “You’re just like your mother?”
#2. Believe feedback.
When someone shares something they see in you, they’re right, at least from their point of view.
#3. Reject excuse-making.
Say, “Thanks for your feedback.”
Whisper to yourself, “What if they’re right?”
#4. Explore instead of resist.
“What am I doing that makes you say that?”
#5. Seek solutions.
When someone says you’re pushy, say, “I aspire to energize people. What suggestions do you have for me?”
Bonus: We go further with others. Seek out a blind spot buddy. Marissa Levin