Relationship building is the difference between getting stuff done and being a leader.
Results are the cake. Relationship building heats the oven.
Relationship building is the heart of success.
Community contributes to flourishing.
7 relationship building rules:
Rule #1: Value relationships
Don’t feel less concern for results. Give more attention to relationship building.
Think results through relationships, not results or relationships. Teams that row together go further than people who row alone. Solidarity promotes performance.
High achievers build energizing relationships.
Rule #2: Move first
The person with power determines the rules of connection. When you pull away, others pull back. Don’t expect strong relationships when you’re isolated.
Rule #3: Lower the bridge
Vulnerability is the bridge of relationship building.
Stop pretending you have it together. In a turbulent world everyone is learning. Let people know your development goals. People want you to get better at leading.
Rule #4: Practice liking
People are priceless. Find things to like about everyone on your team. Smile at people when they show up. Get past thinking, “Oh bother. What do you want?”
Make a list of three things you admire about everyone on your team.
Rule #5: Leverage joy
Don’t be the jack ass that uses ‘but’ after compliments. “You did great, but.” But is an eraser.
Let affirmations stand on their own two feet. Separate compliments from development. “You’re great at getting to root causes, but you could be better at blah blah blah.”
Joy replaces push with pull. People pull together where there’s joy.
Find joy in growth and achievement.
Rule #6: Maintain high standards:
Relationships that affirm mediocrity destroy results.
Rule #7: Develop a relationship building strategy
- Include people at all levels of your organization.
- Don’t give your best time to problem people.
- Give your best attention to people who are rising.
What rules for relationship building come to mind for you?
Which rule seems most relevant for you today?
Dig deeper:
Transparency and Vulnerability – 4 Ways to Let Yourself be Seen without Oversharing
Employees Who Feel Love Perform Better
The Most Neglected and Misunderstood Tool of Leadership
