Before You Hire a Friend Explore these 7 Issues

Dan Rockwell

2 years ago

I received this question Friday.

I’m wondering if you have any articles about employees bypassing direct supervisors because they are “friends of the boss”. I have always hesitated to hire friends for this reason. However, in the current environment employees are very difficult to find.

The simplest thing to say is, hire a friend if you want to lose a relationship.

Image by vishnu vijayan from Pixabay

Before you hire a friend explore…

Temperament:

#1. Is there a history of drama? Overreaction signals future conflict.

#2. Is there a history of dealing well with conflict?

#3. Is forgiveness a verified behavior? This includes the ability to move on after something hits the fan. Nurturing offenses is a red flag.

#4. How are they at having hard conversations? You’ll lose a friend if they take disagreements personally.

Power:

#5. What are the current relational power dynamics? Relationships have leaders and followers. If you hire an employee who leads your friendship, it’s going to be tough.

Communication:

#6. How would you describe communication styles?

Some options to consider:

Assertive: Clear, direct, honest, and kind.
Aggressive: Aggressive, dominating, closed minded.
Passive: Indirect, submissive, avoiding conflict.
Passive-aggressive: Subtle but hostile. They let you know they aren’t happy with tone, body language, or gossip.
Listening: Listens to understand. Enjoys open dialogue.
Analytical: Just the facts. Logical and systematic.
Professional: Polite, follows established etiquette.

Hiring friends tests communication. If you aren’t good at it now, it will only get worse when friends are involved.

Boundaries:

#7. How would you describe everyone’s boundary-setting skill?

When you hire a friend can you play together without digging into work issues? I suggest a simple rule. Never talk about work when you’re not at work.

Tip: Have them report to someone as far from you as possible.

Should leaders hire a friend?

If you hire a friend what should be true?