A moment of insight unlocks life.
You can’t force insight. People find it when conditions are right.
Turn conversations toward transformation.
5 Pillars of Insight
#1. Summarize
People need to know they matter. Plan what you say to people. Summarize their words. It’s evidence their words matter.
People relax when they feel valued.
Power Tip: Two or three summary sentences is enough. Then move forward.
#2. Allow Correction
Hang on to assumptions loosely. After reflecting someone’s words ask:
- “Am I getting this right?”
- “Do you think I’m hearing you?”
- “What am I missing?”
Benefit:
- Openness leads to honesty.
- Honesty leads to insight.
- Insight leads to progress.
#3. Pursue Revelation
People discover what they think when they talk. They think differently when you reflect their thoughts back.
Sometimes their beliefs surprise them.
- Patterns emerge.
- Priorities show up.
- Clarity grows.
Spoken thoughts feel tangled. Reflected words feel clear.
Power Tip: Don’t speak conclusively. Ask, “What comes to mind when you hear this back?”
#4. Shift Gears
Provide space for people to reflect on their own thoughts. Don’t rush to the next topic until people think about what they’re saying.
“Let’s pause for a second. I hear you saying…” Use their own words.
Don’t solve the wrong problem by rushing to solutions.
#5. Feel Emotion
Reflect the feelings behind the words. Help people appreciate their own experiences.
Don’t analyze. Don’t diagnose. Just notice.
“I’m hearing some disappointment.” Complete the sentence with an observed emotion: positive energy, frustration, hope, confusion, or discouragement.
Say, “This seems important,” when you hear strong emotion.
Don’t steal conversations by saying, “I know how you feel.”
They say, “I’m doing everything I can, but nothing moves.”
You say, “It sounds like you feel stuck.”
Endings that Work
- “What matters most right now?”
- “What would progress look like?”
- “What’s next?”
How can leaders help others find insight?
The Single Most Transformative Force in Leadership
The Leader as Coach (HBR)
