Ego is good. It says you matter to yourself. But ego turns bad when it diminishes others. Self-respect is healthy. Entitlement devalues others.
Choose useful or painful in a two-second pause.
A Two-Second Pause
Impulse follows action in a flash of lightning. But you can train yourself to pause.
Rollo May said, “Freedom is the capacity to pause in the face of stimuli from many directions at once and, in this pause, to throw one’s weight toward this response rather than that one.” (Freedom and Destiny)
10 Everyday Pauses:
- Resisting the impulse to speak. Keep your lips together. Listen to understand.
- Shifting to curiosity. Humility learns. Ego knows. Ask yourself, “What might they understand that I don’t?” Challenge your own wisdom.
- Rejecting defensiveness. When appropriate, say, “I was wrong.” No explanation. No defense. Own it.
- Adopting flexibility instead of stubbornness. Say, “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
- Inviting dissent. After you blurt out a solution, pause and ask, “What are some other solutions that might work?”
- Sharing authority. When you want to take command, ask yourself, “What team member might thrive leading this?”
- Saying, “I’m sorry.” Suppose you jumped in too quickly. Say, “I’m sorry. I jumped in too quickly. What are your thoughts about this?”
- Relinquishing the last word. When someone has a great idea, don’t add anything. Say, “That sounds great. Go do that.”
- Slowing your brain. Take notes while others talk.
- Expressing gratitude. When challenged, say, “Thank you for saying that. What makes this important to you?”
Hubris asks: How do I look?
Humility asks: How can I serve?
How can you practice a two-second pause today?
