Seeking calm is stressful.
The more you focus on inner calm the more you sense its absence.
Absence of Calm
Good feelings aren’t a roadmap. Calm isn’t a compass.
Accepting a promotion adds weight. Starting workouts causes sore muscles. Saying no makes your heart pound. Anxiety precedes tough conversations. Apologizing feels awkward. Setting boundaries tightens your chest.
Inner turmoil signals engagement.
- Stress means you care.
- Discomfort indicates commitment.
- Anxiety says, “This matters.”
Self-Defeat
Seeking calm directly defeats you.
- Goal: Feel calm.
- Reflection: I am currently feeling 4/10 calm.
- Judgment: 4/10 is not my goal. I am failing.
- Reaction: Anxiety/frustration increases.
- Result: Calmness drops to 2/10.
An Alternative
Calm is a consequence, not a goal. When stress goes up, redirect your attention.
- What does it mean to serve others right now?
- Ask yourself, “What matters now?” Purpose gives meaning to difficulty.
Feeling troubled means you’re in the arena.
Don’t mistake ease for success. Don’t choose comfort over growth.
Elevate your ability to thrive in turbulence.
Take action on your highest point of clarity. If you’re reasonably certain it won’t cause harm, do it.
Action answers anxiety.
Calmness isn’t the goal of life. You’re here to make meaningful contribution. Sometimes that’s stressful.
Stop checking your pulse; start checking your purpose.