“Be yourself” dresses ego in the robes of authenticity.
“I have to be me,” requires others to adapt to you. Why shouldn’t you adapt to them?
Don’t be yourself. Become your best self.
The 3 Authenticity Curses
#1. The Curse of the Loose Tongue
Don’t express everything you think or feel. Don’t lie. Speak to improve not to unload.
The #1 rule for communication: Only open your mouth to make something better.
Authenticity says, “This is how I feel.” Leadership asks, “Does this help?”
#2. The Curse of Following Your Heart
“…our intuition tends to tell us our intuition is right!” Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic
Don’t justify harming others because serving yourself feels good.
- Listen to feedback. Others generally judge your talent and impact better than you.
- Observe the rules of the game. Rules provide a framework for cooperation and success.
- Listen to your best self. Use self-regulation to bridge the gap between feelings and behaviors.
#3. The Curse of Ignoring What Others Think
No feedback. No growth. Stop looking in the mirror for your greatness. Examine your impact on others.
Choose self-awareness over self-esteem.
Cures for Curses:
Adapt your behavior to maximize your service.
Instead of chasing authenticity…
- Adopt an Other-Oriented Approach. Ask, “Did my words and actions help or harm?”
- Master Context. Learn the rules of the game before attempting to change them.
- Practice Self-Editing. Challenge spontaneity. Cultivate a version of you that best serves others.
Drop the need to be authentic. Earn the right to be useful.
How is “being yourself” limiting opportunities?
Who pays the price of authenticity?
Everything You Need to Know About “NOT” Being Yourself
This post is adapted from Don’t be Yourself by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic.
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