Big ego says, “I’m great and you’re not.”
The issue isn’t if you have ego, it’s how much.
You need enough ego to believe you can make a difference, but not so much that you don’t need others.
7 Symptoms of Ego Gone Wild
Ego blinds you to your shortcomings and the strengths of others.
- Most people irritate you.
- Others are self-centered, but you aren’t.
- Conversations are competitions.
- Serving is an inconvenience.
- You justify using people.
- Your weaknesses are minor inconveniences. Their weaknesses are catastrophes.
- An apology hasn’t passed your lips since you were caught with your hand in the cookie jar.
A big ego pollutes every aspect of servant leadership. But zero-ego makes you a doormat.
5 Practices of Healthy Ego
#1. Address awkward issues with kindness.
Self-centered leaders avoid tough issues because they care about themselves more than others. Ego relies on anger to say tough things.
#2. Help others clarify and pursue their aspirations.
It takes real confidence to stop asking, “What about me?” and start asking, “What about them?”
Humility serves others. Ego serves itself.
#3. Invite others to speak.
Try asking:
- What do you think we should do?
- What are your challenges?
- When are you most energized?
Tip: Invite teammates to speak for themselves in meetings. Don’t speak for them.
#4. Practice mutual accountability.
One-way accountability breeds resentment. Be as accountable to others as you expect them to be to you.
#5. Say, “Thank you,” everywhere you go.
Warning: Arrogance can imitate humility. It says thank you without gratitude and seeks input without listening.
Ego says, “I’m the answer.” Servant leaders say, “We’re the answer.”
What dangers of a big ego do you see?
What are useful expressions of healthy ego?
