Working on others is pure joy. After all, they need so much help.
Self-deception takes root when fixing others is your mission.
Influence requires connection, but self-deception builds shallow relationships.
The Toughest Thing
Isolation is easy. Relationships are messy because they make demands on you.
Build relationships by working on yourself first.
Self-deceived leaders focus on changing others. Connected leaders ask, “How do I need to change?”
Signs of Self-Deception
- No one works as hard as you.
- You believe you’re the smartest person on the team.
- You repeatedly complain about others.
- No one is good enough.
- Your first thought is, “They need to change.”
Connection changes you, if you let it. But it’s easier to work on others than yourself.
3 Questions to Ask Yourself
- How do you need to change to connect more deeply?
- What do the tensions you feel with others reveal about you?
- How might you share your frailties in ways that strengthen connection?
The wall of self-deception limits your potential for growth.
What helps leaders gain clarity about themselves?
