Feelings deserve attention, not control.
An obsession with feelings leads to:
- Self-absorption. You turn inward to constantly check your feelings.
- Fragility. Capacity decreases by avoiding uncomfortable things.
- Avoidance. “I don’t feel like it” turns into “I won’t.”
- Indecision. When feelings are unstable decisions are inconsistent.
- Dependence. Circumstances and people regulate your world.
Good Things May Feel “Bad”
Choose the good life even when it feels bad.
Asking for forgiveness feels uncomfortable. Discipline can hurt. Courage is acting while feeling uncertain.
Don’t confuse discomfort with harm. It may be advantage.
“No one seems to me more unhappy than the man whom no misfortune has ever befallen.” Seneca quoting Demetrius.
3 Ways to Live Beyond What You Feel
Notice your feelings but live on purpose.
- Choose who to become, then choose what to do. “What would a courageous leader do?” “What would a kind person do?” “What would a servant leader choose?”
- Practice purposeful abandonment. “What won’t I do today?”
- Do uncomfortable things on purpose. Have the conversation. Admit a mistake. Make the call.
Wisdom is the ability to feel one thing and choose another.
Purpose asks, “What’s worthwhile?”
Feeling good is wonderful. Don’t let it run your life.
What role should feelings play in leadership?
3 Destructive Lies about Feelings – Leadership Freak
From Emotional Triggers to Values-Based Leadership HBR
