Helping puffs your ego even when it harms others.
Tender-hearted leaders make people weak when they help badly.
You show up for others. Expect others to show up for themselves.
5 Ways to Help Badly
- Doing someone’s work instead of helping them develop.
- Intervening when no one asked.
- Offering solutions before understanding the problem.
- Causing someone to feel incompetent.
- Inviting people to rely on you instead of developing capability.
5 Questions Before Helping
- What are you trying to accomplish?
- How much of this is your job?
- What have you tried?
- What’s getting in the way?
- What kind of help would be useful?
The goal of helping is enabling, not more helping.
3 Reflection Questions
- How much of my eagerness to help is ego?
- What makes me believe I understand what’s not working?
- Is this a competence issue or a willingness issue?
What kind of help do you enjoy receiving? Giving?
Cure Chronic Help-Seekers – Leadership Freak
Read: How to Offer, Give, and Receive Help by Edgar Schein.
