Raise your hand if you have a boss who talks too much. Blabbermouth bosses exasperate everyone.
Raise your hand if you’re a boss. I bet you talk too much, too. As a general rule…
Leaders talk too much and listen too little.
Blabbermouth bosses talk too much because they:
- Don’t want others to talk.
- Believe they are “all that.” You can’t silence self-important prima donnas.
- Feel strongly. Passion drives verbosity.
- Love power and control. Research shows the powerful talk more than others.
- Know too much. Why listen when you already know? The gift of wisdom drops like pearls from their lips.
- Don’t care about others.
- Feel fear. Doctors know talkative patients are nervous, for example.
Bonus: Weak leaders talk too much when trying to convince skeptics.
Tips for Blabbermouths:
Forget:
Forget about active listening. It’s beyond you. Just shut up.
Master silent listening before
attempting active listening.
Space:
Silence is space for the words of others. Closed mouths are the first step toward opened ears.
Pauses:
Pauses are thought-time, not permission for you to talk. Shhhh!
Persuasion:
Shift from talking-to-persuade to listening-to-persuade. Earn the right to be heard by hearing others.
Ears, not mouths, make people feel understood.
Reciprocity:
Align your talk with their talk. If they ask a question, ask them one. When someone shares a personal moment, share one of your own.
Reach beyond informing.
Use talking to connect.
Time:
Shorten responses. Limit talking to 90 seconds segments, at most. Additionally, if they speak briefly, speak briefly yourself.
Why do leaders talk too much?
What practices help leaders listen more?