12 Courageous Acts of Leadership
Meetings suck, problems persist, and relationships degrade because of cowardice.
Mediocrity persists for lack of courage.
You begin with a dream, but the real issue is courage.
12 courageous acts of leadership:
- Doubt first thoughts and question intuitions.
- Extend trust.
- Stop talking and listen.
- Let others be right.
- Ask awkward questions.
- Confront issues that hurt others.
- Challenge average in order to pursue exceptional.
- Comfort.
- Connect.
- Say, “I was wrong. Please forgive me.”
- Surrender control while remaining responsible.
- Honor the success of others without mentioning your contribution.
Bonus: Explore rather than defend.
Finding courage:
Forgiveness
Malcolm Gladwell surprised me when he started talking about forgiveness, when I asked him about courage. I’ve been thinking about it ever since.
- Unforgiving leaders have fearful followers.
- Forgiveness emboldens forward movement after failure.
- Individuals who can’t forgive their own failures fear trying again.
Others
I asked Simon Sinek where courage comes from.
“Courage comes from the courage of others around us. When you meet people with courage it gives you courage. When somebody believes in you, that gives you courage.”
“I’ve been very lucky that I’ve met some amazing people who have much more courage than I.” Simon Sinek.
Action
Paralyzing fear grips you when you think about distant goals but neglect next steps.
A goal without a next step defeats you.
One courageous step invites the next. Inaction, on the other hand, fuels fear and confusion. The fearful use confusion as an excuse to do nothing.
Passion is useless without courage.
Focus on the near present not the distant future. What can you do now?
What do courageous acts of leadership look like?
Where does courage come from?
Gladwell’s latest book: “David and Goliath”
Sinek’s latest book: “Leaders Eat Last”
Thanks to the people at the World of Business Ideas for connecting me with Malcolm Gladwell and Simon Sinek.
Brilliant Dan!!
Kind regards
Giovanni Gaggia
Thanks Giovanni.
I would bet some of those courageous folks are doing what some would say is “faking it until you make it.” Pretending to be bold when they are trembling inside. But I would argue that is the essence of courage — being terrified but moving ahead anyways.
I have a mantra I used to use from the classics Sci-Fi Dune book (which is actually more about leadership than science):
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
But really, you just have to acknowledge the fear, let yourself feel it and not run away or seek distraction from it. If you have to, learn to coexist with it for the time being by leaning on others, taking more walking breaks outside, and remember to breathe deeply on regular intervals with focus on how the breath feels.
Thanks James. Courage doesn’t eliminate fear. Fascinating idea that “fake it till you make it” might apply to courage. 🙂
Being afraid of being afraid is worse than the fear itself. As you say, just accept it. Cheers
My cousin is an exceptionally talented musician and plays with great sensitivity. However, I think God had a sense of humour because alongside her musical gift, she is exceptionally shy and struggled to even perform in from of our extended famil when she was younger. Her older sister who is a lot more outgoing, told her to fake it til she makes it and that has really helped. I do believe we have to go through our fear although it can be hard yakka at times.LIke you said, taking small steps have helped me. They accumulate and suddenly you look at where you are and even surprise yourself.
The most courageous act of leadership I can think of is being honest. If you don’t know something, admit it. If something doesn’t seem right, say so. Speak the truth. Acknowledge the elephants sitting in the room. Know who you are, what you stand for and (paraphrasing here) challenge yourself, your team, your organization to pursue exceptional.
“Pursue exceptional” – love it. Thanks Dan!
Thanks gapinzon. Honest takes courage when it runs against accepted ideas.
I also get the sense that the more we accept who we are the less courage we need.
Absolutely Dan. Not an easy place to be when you are the one challenging the status quo!
Thanks gapinzon. Someone has to step out first…that’s leadership! 🙂
Terrific insights – I recently read something by Malcom Gladwell and am reading Simon Sinek’s book now, so their comments also really hit home. Here’s another pop culture refence about courage that I recall often when I need that extra bit of motivation – from the movie We Bought a Zoo –
“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”
On to something great….
Thanks pjrchs. I really like the terms “embarrassing bravery.”
“Honor the success of others without mentioning your contribution.” — that’s great — I’ve seen so many bound in this, and unfortunately felt the tug of stealing others accomplishments… be great if the cartoon thought clouds would come up on our lives saying “this is so lame, don’t do it!”
Thanks Ken. “The tug of stealing others accomplishments,” is such a powerful way to say it. It might not feel like steeling. It might feel like — just give me my due credit. But in the end it’s stealing. Powerful
If the leader even hints that they deserve credit you destroy the honor you are trying to bestow. Leaders get far more credit than they deserve, so give it away liberally. There is now downside.
Dear Dan,
I appreciate and agree that dream and passion is good but without courage makes no sense. Courage is the ability to start and complete with project with commitment. Courage actually starts with great determination that one will do it. It is the belief what one can achieve out of it. People become courageous with right intention. Right intention impels power, energy and reason to move ahead. People with wrong and selfish intention may not have courage. The reason is simple- wrong reason can not infuse energy and enthusiasm.
Courage is not something learned, but felt. It is strong feeling from within to enhance effort. It originates from heart.
Heart always become powerful with truth and honesty. In absence of this, courage may not emerge. Great leaders have great courage because they have great heart. They are ready to sacrifice short term goals, to achieve bigger dreams. They are concerned about bigger impact rather than individual interest.
Thanks Dr. Gupta. It’s great that you add the idea of heart. When I write about courage someone usually chimes in about the roots of the term courage go back to heart. (I hope I’m remembering that correctly)
In my mind, the combination of accountability and forgiveness leads to a safe working environment where new ideas can be embraced.
Thanks Billgncs. Glad you connected accountability with forgiveness. It might look like this. “What will you do differently next time? What won’t you do? How will we know you are making progress?”
6.Confront issues that hurt others… I often fail to act with courage when I need to confront someone because it will make them uncomfortable. I realize (intelectually) that the the greatest kindness that I can extend is to help someone see a blind spot and to grow and improve. But I can be paralized (emotionally) by fear of hurting someone’s feelings or discouraging them.
Thanks Paul. I respect your transparency. I’m with you. For me, my fear is as much, or more, for myself as it is for them. I don’t want them to be upset with ME. It goes back to the need to be liked. Courage is necessary for me to let go of my inner pleaser. Best for the journey.
I just sent a copy (link) of this to a person in our organization who has been the most courageous leader for us in light of confronting a situation that has been holding us back. I loved the conversation with Simon Sinek….It is so true that if we meet a courageous person it does indeed make us feel more courageous. Sometimes it just takes someone willing to take the first step in order for others to make the same leap.
Thanks Vicki. Hats off to all the people who take that first step. That’s what leadership is about. Take the first step. Put yourself out there. Risk failure. Invite others to come along. Learn and adapt as you go. It’s great you have someone who had courage to take the first step.
We all take our cues on how to act from those around us. In other words, we’re all standing around, looking at each other, waiting.
Check out a fantastic (and very brief) TED Talk on “How to Start a Movement” that deals with the courage of a leader– and the first follower!
http://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_how_to_start_a_movement?language=en
Thanks Justin. Gotta love it.
Having the fortitude to stand alone in hopes that others will follow is sometimes very hard. Often you will draw a lot of fire from those that do not understand or are not willing to leave their comfort zones.
Dan, I love the images that you add to your articles. Where do you get them?
Thanks Bruce. http://morguefile.com/archive
Happy hunting
Dan, Nothing starts without one committing to their Leadership role.
Once you commit, courage plays a part as well accountability, showing what one is made of. Followers either challenge you, which makes things intriguing to be a leader or they can do a multitude of things to drive to a greater role or sink your Ship. It all begins with “you” being the person you are. or have grown to be.
Thanks Tim. Somebody has to step out! I really appreciate the idea of authenticity that you interjected, “being the person you are.”
Good post Dan.
Mediocrity persists for lack of courage….or basically…lack of love!
One of my all time favorite quotes:
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. ~Lao Tzu
It takes far more courage TO love then to BE loved, doesn’t it?
And yet, we feel STRONG when someone loves us.
Some of us have plenty of courage. Some of us haven’t felt that strength though in a very long time.
The heavens definitely need to open the flood gates in both directions! (grins)
Thanks Samantha. Powerful! The connection between love and courage is left out entirely on this post. What a shame? 🙂
Amen to that Dan!
Diana
Excellent exchange. So much to agree with.
When fear raised it head, I had to examine it before jumping into the situation in front of me.
When assigned to ride a bull for a TV “get involved story” many years ago, I got on that big thing with my heart pounding, said “God help me” and they opened the shoot gate.
I did survive, and when the very brief ride was over so was the fear with some wounding.
Ever since that, I realize I simply have to postpone the fear while examining the consequences and move forward.
A completely different situation, I can stand in front of hundreds of people for a presentation and feel only a short twinge of “Will I do well and convey the message?” That is not fear for me, but respecting those there to listen.
Right on! That is spot on.
This is beginning to give such insight. Thank you for writing this! I have recently been told I am a leading example and a ‘second in command’ at my job. This new role is a brand new area that is way outside my comfort zone. I’ve never really thought of myself as a leader and all of a sudden these past couple of months, the pressure has been on! I question whether I can continue this and succeed, or if I should look for a different job that actually pays what it is worth :-/
Someone told me a long time ago that courage is what makes you stand and fight, even when every being in your body tells you to run. That has stuck with me forever.
USMC
I love this piece Dan! I have often thought that fear is what creates fake talk. It takes real courage for people to speak up when they don’t know what the consequences will be. Many times it takes courage to do the right thing. Much of what you pinpointed helps us to think about how we engage with others and how they engage with us. Taking a good look at ourselves and how we respond and engage with others is one of the first steps in developing the courage in our hearts to do something and move forward. Great work!
Courage can come from being honest – with others and oneself. Add generous portions of respect and wit. And, everyone wins – and certainly feel good about life. A few words from Marian Wright Edelman might fit here:
“We must not…ignore the small differences we can make which, over time, add up to the big difference that we often cannot foresee.”
By the way, Malcolm Gladwell’s book, David and Goliath, belongs in everyone’s bookcase. It offers an ancient Biblical lesson, in a way that can be applied in any setting.
I love how these articles lead to such great threads of ideas and exchanges!
Point 1 about doubt first thoughts and question intuition – I spent a long time in a male dominated environment and found over time, as a woman, that I stopped listening to my intuition as others were always asking for “the evidence” to support proposals for change or issues. It took courage, and a few promotions, for me to give myself permission to use my intuition and become more adept at persuading others of the need for change/action on an issue.
I spent a long time in meetings listening to “fake talk” whilst the elephant wandered around the room! I agree with johnrstoker – courage, looking at ourselves and how we respond/engage is vital skill.
Keep up the excellent work Dan
I would agree with these 12 items without a doubt. Here is something else to consider. Much of these items are inward focused, so I ask…does become a good leader really mean becoming learning to “lead oneself” before one can truly lead others?
Excellent post! I think the issue of getting it wrong and admitting it (and then learning from it in such a way that improvements are made) certainly is something that many business cultures do not encourage (though others a famous for it). Learning leads to innovation and bonding of teams. But it takes courage to embed it a team, across teams especially in large organisations.