Parents say, “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.”
Frustrated leaders ask, “How many times have we talked about this?”
Talking isn’t working when:
- Problems persist.
- You have the same conversation over and over.
- All you hear are new excuses.
How to Move from Talking to Action in 10 Steps:
#1. Acknowledge talking isn’t working.
#2. Confront yourself.
Repeating the same conversation over and over is something you let happen.
#3. Stop using the same words.
The words you’re using might be good, but they aren’t working.
#4. Adopt a new approach.
Explain that having the same conversation isn’t an option anymore.
An illustration:
Suppose you argue with one of your kids because they’re always late getting ready for school. Explain that rushing isn’t working. You won’t be yelling, “It’s time to go a half dozen times.” “Departure time is 7:30. If you aren’t in the car tomorrow morning, we’re leaving without you.”
#5. Define the problem.
- Frustration isn’t fun.
- Disrespect for family members.
- Stress kills.
#6. Explain the goal.
Everyone in the car at 7:30 a.m.
#7. Clarify benefits.
A peaceful ride, better relationships, and no summer school.
#8. Discuss consequences.
“We are leaving without you.”
#9. Provide instruction.
- This is how you set an alarm.
- What time should you go to bed?
- When should you get in the shower?
- Lay out your clothes the night before.
- Pack your school backpack the night before.
#10. Stick to your word.
6 alternative approaches:
- Throw a bucket of cold water on the delinquent every morning if they aren’t up at 6:45.
- Treat them like an invalid. Show up in their room with a basin of water and a washcloth.
- Let it go and live with it.
- Learn to enjoy arguing.
- Reward success.
- Homeschool.
What’s wrong with the 10-step approach listed above?
What do you do when talking isn’t working?
Still curious:
How to Solve Problems Quickly – But 69% of Relationship Problems are Unsolvable