Parents say, “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.”
Frustrated leaders ask, “How many times have we talked about this?”
Talking isn’t working when:
- Problems persist.
- You have the same conversation over and over.
- All you hear are new excuses.
How to Move from Talking to Action in 10 Steps:
#1. Acknowledge talking isn’t working.
#2. Confront yourself.
Repeating the same conversation over and over is something you let happen.
#3. Stop using the same words.
The words you’re using might be good, but they aren’t working.
#4. Adopt a new approach.
Explain that having the same conversation isn’t an option anymore.
Suppose you argue with one of your kids because they’re always late getting ready for school. Explain that rushing isn’t working. You won’t be yelling, “It’s time to go a half dozen times.” “Departure time is 7:30. If you aren’t in the car tomorrow morning, we’re leaving without you.”
#5. Define the problem.
- Frustration isn’t fun.
- Disrespect for family members.
- Stress kills.
#6. Explain the goal.
Everyone in the car at 7:30 a.m.
#7. Clarify benefits.
A peaceful ride, better relationships, and no summer school.
#8. Discuss consequences.
“We are leaving without you.”
#9. Provide instruction.
- This is how you set an alarm.
- What time should you go to bed?
- When should you get in the shower?
- Lay out your clothes the night before.
- Pack your school backpack the night before.
#10. Stick to your word.
6 alternative approaches:
- Throw a bucket of cold water on the delinquent every morning if they aren’t up at 6:45.
- Treat them like an invalid. Show up in their room with a basin of water and a washcloth.
- Let it go and live with it.
- Learn to enjoy arguing.
- Reward success.
What’s wrong with the 10-step approach listed above?
What do you do when talking isn’t working?