Leaders change people.
Leaders fail because their ideas about changing people don’t work. Day-long training doesn’t change people. Information doesn’t shape character. Most of us have our minds made up.
Policies preserve the status quo. They don’t cultivate growth. Power and authority force compliance, but don’t change hearts.
Leaders don’t change people – people change themselves. You can influence transformation. You can encourage it. You can’t force it.
People change because they choose to. Pain might motivate transformation; it could be aspiration. Reasons can be internal, external, or both.
Change people by changing yourself:
You energize development by modeling personal growth. If you want to change people transform yourself.
Create an environment where learning is likely by showing up to learn.
Listen to stories:
Self-discovery is growth. Listen to people’s stories if you want to inspire growth. People see themselves in their stories.
- Where did you grow up? How did that impact who you are today?
- What was your family like? How did that shape the way you interact with others?
- Who influenced you? How are you like them?
- Who do you admire? If you were like that person, what would be true?
Take sides:
Demonstrate you’re on their side. People embrace change when you seek their advantage. High-influence leaders, seek the highest good of others.
People won’t change until they’re convinced you’re in it for them.
Provide reflection time:
During and after projects, ask reflection-focused questions.
- What most energizes you about this project?
- What is more difficult than expected? What would make it easier?
- What did you do to contribute to success?
- If you did this again, what would you do differently?
Conclusion:
Jolt people into the present.
- Share what you are learning.
- Invite them to tell stories.
- Seek their highest good.
- Provide time to reflect.
What has changed you? How can you apply that to helping others change themselves?