An Energizing Conversation any Manager can Lead
The energy of conversation points to the relevance of the topic.
There’s no guarantee of follow-through, but if heads nod around the table, follow-through will be like pulling teeth.
Step #1: Discuss, in a team meeting, the behaviors of the worst manager you ever had.
No names allowed. You cannot think of someone who is currently in the room.
Explain specific behaviors. Don’t say, “The worst manager I ever had was mean.” You can say, “The worst manager I ever had constantly interrupted people.”
Have fun making a long list. Record items on the white board. Expand on other people’s contribution. “Yes, and….”
Illustrate negative behaviors during the discussion. If you had a lousy manager who was always unhappy, put a nasty frown on while you talk. Better yet, when one of your colleagues brings up interrupting, interrupt them.
Explain the effects of negative manager-behaviors on you personally. “I felt like… , when my manager yelled at the team.”
Step #2: Choose one, and only one, negative quality you never want to practice based on the long list of negative leader qualities.
“I never want to bark orders because….”
“I never want to ambush someone with negative feedback because….”
Step #3: Identify and adopt one specific positive behavior you will practice everyday until your next meeting.
“I commit to letting people know I value them by holding my head up and smiling when I meet them in the hall.”
“I commit to extending support by asking, “How can I help?” at the end of every work-related conversation. (Doug Conant)
“I commit to challenging people by exploring how we might take our projects to the next level.”
Step #4: Debrief at your next meeting.
- What did you do?
- How did it work?
- What did you learn?
- What will you do next week?
What might you add to this learning activity to make it more effective?
What might derail this learning conversation?
Love the ease of the exercise to consciously avoid for one week the worst trait of the worst leader you ever knew. Everyone can do this — even if privately by themselves first to see if people notice. With the Team involved — better still.
Thanks Mary Ellen. Yes, we grow in community. Anytime we let others know what we’re working on we increase the likelihood of success. Seeking feedback is so powerful in the process as well.
Sure we can learn from the worst managers. But I think we gain more insights by studying the best managers/leaders.
Step 4 —partner with someone who will hold you accountable.
You can disrail the session by simply letting it evolve into a “bitch session.
Thanks Paul, Love your step 4. Giving and receiving challenge/encouragement takes everyone further.
The point of talking about the worst manager is just to be light and have fun. But, best practices of others can be really useful, especially if the team is young.
Dan,
I like Paul’s insights, accountability speak strongly for “all” involved, something I see lacking in todays society.
Establishing a Trust between all parties.
Not being afraid to share accolades when they are deserved, more specifically when clients speaks about the results.
Give advise when asked, at the same time you can explain how you see the project and convey these are the intentions to complete designated item A,B, C etc.
If your going to Bash someone chose a private setting.
Thanks Tim. You got me thinking about the opportunity to train teams to speak well of each other’s progress. “You’re getting better at….,” might seem like a backhanded compliment. But if everyone is working to develop themselves, everyone knows that falling short is part of the process.
Dan,
Perhaps a way to enhance the team’s with recognition, let’s them know they are appreciated, that we see them and support them!
Falling short is part of the process, we just need to build them so these events don’t happen.
Conversations such as these are a key part of introductory leadership classes that I teach to new (and prospective) law enforcement managers. Examining examples of both good and bad leadership behaviors is necessary to highlight the contrast between the two, which should quickly become obvious to the involved participant. Equally important is an examination to how we react and respond to both good and bad leaders, especially over the long term, and how the group behavior of the “led” reflects the behaviors of the leader.
Thanks James. Yes, this exercise is best for young or inexperienced leaders because it’s easy to have.
Love your focus on exploring the impact of good/bad leaders on the way we perform, feel, and interact.
This looks like a fun exercise; step one alone could be quite exciting. A way to keep this from derailing is to not get caught up in step one making a complaint list for the sake of gratification. Ask the group to first as themselves, “Am I listing this negative qualities as means to cope with reservations I’ve held for years?” Also, depending on how you word the negative quality you could offend someone in your group and then now you might have pullback and not get full participation.
Thanks Gary. It’s great to see you wandering around this topic and exploring how it might work or go off the rails.
Our response to someone who is offended is important to group dynamics. To avoid offending, I wonder if it might be good to bring it up before the activity. “What if something comes up that offends someone?”
Good afternoon,
I enjoyed reading your piece this afternoon.
After self-reflecting upon what I read, a book comes to mind. “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team,” by Patrick Lencioni. In the story a company is struggling and decides to hire a new CEO named Kathryn. She (CEO) holds numerous sessions with members of her team. As the story progresses what started out as a series of on/off site team member meetings turns into
major “b!tch sessions.” The team members find themselves being honest with each other and performing valid introspection upon themselves as well.
First and foremost people are human first and employees second. No one can prohibit an individual from being human. Try as you may, it will not happen. American culture does not embrace “being human or value human life.” That is a sad reality. I speak from experience as an African American woman. My people had to fight a Civil Rights Movement and we still aren’t treated as equals in certain parts of American Society and this includes the workplace.
Most organizations see people as just another number. It’s a business as usual workplace culture.
Very few people that I personally know, “love their jobs.” People have bills to pay and they need that paycheck. But just imagine how different the workplace would be if people were treated as “human beings?” Employees could help the organization reach new heights and succeed all expectations.
Never underestimate the value of treating people as human beings. It really does make a world of difference.